1
00:02:13,625 --> 00:02:15,206
- This way, please.
- B-but...

2
00:02:16,208 --> 00:02:18,073
Oh, what's the use?

3
00:02:26,042 --> 00:02:27,907
Sorry. All right.

4
00:02:29,167 --> 00:02:30,828
- Who's next?
- Mr bird.

5
00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:34,990
Bird? Bird, bird, bird, bird.

6
00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,242
Oh, yes, yes. This is interesting.

7
00:02:51,625 --> 00:02:55,368
There you are. Genuine case
of lampington's disease.

8
00:02:56,083 --> 00:02:58,950
Delayed, but now moving
into the acute stage.

9
00:02:59,708 --> 00:03:01,198
Very rare, always fatal.

10
00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:03,619
- Had x-rays taken?
- Oh, yes.

11
00:03:03,708 --> 00:03:06,871
So have I. Wonderful what
they can do now, innit?

12
00:03:06,958 --> 00:03:09,916
Do anything, except get you enough to eat.

13
00:03:11,917 --> 00:03:14,533
- Bird. George bird?
- Oh, that's me.

14
00:03:18,333 --> 00:03:20,198
So... sit down.

15
00:03:26,458 --> 00:03:29,165
- You married, mr bird?
- No. Never have been.

16
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:32,913
Living with any close relation?
Mother or sister?

17
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:36,663
No, I haven't any close relations.
Just live in digs here.

18
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:39,537
- Oh. Some girlfriend perhaps?
- Not now.

19
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:44,163
Any special friend? Some... some old pal?

20
00:03:44,250 --> 00:03:48,163
No. Had a great pal once,
but he went to Africa.

21
00:03:49,333 --> 00:03:51,949
Lonely sort of chap, aren't you, mr bird?

22
00:03:52,042 --> 00:03:55,284
Looks like it, doesn't it?
But what's all this about?

23
00:03:55,375 --> 00:03:57,457
Well, mr bird...

24
00:03:57,542 --> 00:03:59,578
According to this X-ray,

25
00:03:59,667 --> 00:04:03,034
you're suffering from
a very rare complaint

26
00:04:03,125 --> 00:04:05,867
known as lampington's disease.

27
00:04:05,958 --> 00:04:08,040
Come over here a moment.

28
00:04:08,125 --> 00:04:10,992
Now then. Have a look at that.

29
00:04:12,250 --> 00:04:15,242
What does it do to you, this...
Lampington's disease?

30
00:04:15,333 --> 00:04:17,619
Ah, now, that's very interesting
and it's a curious thing

31
00:04:17,708 --> 00:04:20,120
that nobody spotted it
until about 40 years ago,

32
00:04:20,208 --> 00:04:22,540
when Trevor lampington
wrote a monograph on it.

33
00:04:22,625 --> 00:04:27,119
You see, between the stomach
and the small intestine, there's a...

34
00:04:27,208 --> 00:04:29,324
Sorry, doctor, but is it serious?

35
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,800
You want the honest truth,
don't you, mr bird?

36
00:04:44,292 --> 00:04:48,365
- Yes, doctor.
- Well, it is serious, very serious indeed.

37
00:04:49,042 --> 00:04:51,829
Lampington's disease
has always proved fatal.

38
00:04:51,917 --> 00:04:54,033
No pain, as a rule,
you'll be glad to learn.

39
00:04:54,125 --> 00:04:58,118
An acute case soon passes
into a coma and... and death.

40
00:04:58,208 --> 00:05:00,324
But I feel all right now, doctor.

41
00:05:01,208 --> 00:05:03,369
In fact, my landlady says
it must have been the fish.

42
00:05:03,458 --> 00:05:07,246
It isn't what you feel, my dear chap.
It's what this X-ray tells us.

43
00:05:07,333 --> 00:05:09,449
Couldn't be wrong, I suppose?

44
00:05:10,250 --> 00:05:12,787
I'm sorry. I... I'm very sorry.

45
00:05:12,875 --> 00:05:15,161
Afraid you'll have to prepare yourself.

46
00:05:15,250 --> 00:05:16,990
May be a few weeks.

47
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:19,449
Just possibly might be a few months,

48
00:05:19,542 --> 00:05:20,998
but that's the limit.

49
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:24,241
And then? Finish?

50
00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:27,115
What's your occupation, mr bird?

51
00:05:28,375 --> 00:05:32,414
I'm a salesman for the chanbury
agricultural implement company.

52
00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,365
Saved any money?

53
00:05:34,458 --> 00:05:35,994
About 300 or so.

54
00:05:37,042 --> 00:05:38,782
And I have an insurance policy.

55
00:05:38,875 --> 00:05:42,367
I suppose the surrender value
would be about 500.

56
00:05:42,458 --> 00:05:45,495
Well, if I were in your place,
I'd take that 800,

57
00:05:45,583 --> 00:05:47,744
walk out of my job and go to bournemouth,

58
00:05:47,833 --> 00:05:50,040
or torquay, or pinebourne.

59
00:05:50,125 --> 00:05:53,037
Find a good hotel
and enjoy myself while I could.

60
00:05:54,042 --> 00:05:55,882
Now, don't forget,
there shouldn't be any pain.

61
00:05:55,917 --> 00:05:59,990
Just a sort of numbness at first,
and then a coma and... and death.

62
00:06:00,083 --> 00:06:01,664
You said that before.

63
00:06:02,750 --> 00:06:03,830
Well...

64
00:06:05,833 --> 00:06:08,666
- Thanks very much.
- Not at all. Stiff upper lip.

65
00:06:08,750 --> 00:06:12,072
- Feels all right so far.
- No, no. I meant keep smiling.

66
00:06:13,292 --> 00:06:15,408
How do you keep smiling
with a stiff upper lip?

67
00:06:17,875 --> 00:06:19,581
I'm so sorry, mr bird.

68
00:06:19,667 --> 00:06:21,123
Don't mention it.

69
00:06:22,583 --> 00:06:24,976
When you come to think of it,
you know, it's a bit thick, isn't it?

70
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,536
Couldn't agree with you more.

71
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:28,910
I mean to say...

72
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,520
It's going to be all over before
I've even got properly started.

73
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,706
Don't lean against the window.

74
00:08:04,833 --> 00:08:07,193
Well, bird, you ought to have been
over at binnisford today.

75
00:08:07,250 --> 00:08:10,447
- I had to go to the clinic, mr dinsdale.
- Now don't go fancying you're ill.

76
00:08:10,542 --> 00:08:11,873
All right, I won't.

77
00:08:11,958 --> 00:08:13,809
Well, off you go then.
Off you go. Don't waste time.

78
00:08:13,833 --> 00:08:16,449
- I am going, mr dinsdale.
- Well, go on then, go.

79
00:08:16,542 --> 00:08:18,282
But I'm going for good.

80
00:08:19,292 --> 00:08:21,283
Here, bird, don't be foolish.

81
00:08:21,375 --> 00:08:24,117
I know the last time you asked me
for a rise I couldn't manage it.

82
00:08:24,208 --> 00:08:26,494
No. Business wouldn't stand it, you said.

83
00:08:26,583 --> 00:08:29,450
Well, we won't quarrel about a few pounds.

84
00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:30,952
Not now, we won't.

85
00:08:31,042 --> 00:08:33,749
Look, bird, I'll... I'll raise you to 400.

86
00:08:34,583 --> 00:08:36,039
- 450.
- No use.

87
00:08:36,875 --> 00:08:37,910
500.

88
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,331
No go.

89
00:08:39,417 --> 00:08:40,497
Too late.

90
00:08:43,792 --> 00:08:46,955
Remember that with the next chap.
Don't leave it too late, dinsdale.

91
00:08:47,042 --> 00:08:50,455
- Well, so long.
- Ah, but where are you going?

92
00:08:50,542 --> 00:08:54,364
I don't know yet, but wherever it is, I
shan't be trying to sell anybody anything.

93
00:08:54,458 --> 00:08:58,076
Don't go, bird.
Listen. I'll make it 550. 600!

94
00:08:58,167 --> 00:09:01,659
650. 700. 750.

95
00:09:01,750 --> 00:09:04,708
800. That's about what
it'll be altogether, I think.

96
00:09:04,792 --> 00:09:06,851
The bank would be glad to advise
about any investment.

97
00:09:06,875 --> 00:09:09,457
I'm not going to invest it.
I'm going to spend it.

98
00:09:09,542 --> 00:09:13,410
- Oh, I wouldn't do that if I were you.
- Oh, yes, you would. Even you.

99
00:09:13,500 --> 00:09:17,448
Now, look. Have you
a branch in, um, pinebourne?

100
00:09:17,542 --> 00:09:21,160
Pinebourne? Oh, yes. Yes.
We can accommodate you in pinebourne.

101
00:09:21,250 --> 00:09:23,616
Oh, yes, any amount
of accommodation in pinebourne.

102
00:09:23,708 --> 00:09:26,074
What, uh, class of hotel had you in mind?

103
00:09:26,167 --> 00:09:30,035
- Well, what do you think?
- Oh, something very reasonable, I suppose.

104
00:09:30,125 --> 00:09:32,285
- Pinebourne's rather exclusive, you know.
- Oh, is it?

105
00:09:32,333 --> 00:09:34,119
Oh, yes. In fact, it's very exclusive.

106
00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:37,905
Why, what do they do there? Meet you
at the station and tell you to go back?

107
00:09:39,417 --> 00:09:41,624
Hmm. The regal hotel.

108
00:09:42,542 --> 00:09:45,375
- No. That's not what you want.
- Why? What's the matter with it?

109
00:09:45,458 --> 00:09:50,202
The regal? Well, although it's rather small,
it's very expensive. Select, you know.

110
00:09:50,292 --> 00:09:52,408
Well, it can select me for a change.

111
00:09:52,500 --> 00:09:55,663
Just you book me a single room
at this regal from tomorrow, please.

112
00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:57,706
And I'd better have
a railway ticket as well.

113
00:09:57,792 --> 00:09:59,999
Certainly. Return, of course?

114
00:10:01,208 --> 00:10:02,414
One-way.

115
00:10:21,750 --> 00:10:24,332
One moment, sir. Just one moment.

116
00:10:24,417 --> 00:10:27,079
It's important. You are just
the man I've been looking for.

117
00:10:27,167 --> 00:10:28,577
- What, me?
- Yes, sir.

118
00:10:28,667 --> 00:10:31,079
And believe me,
it's a wonderful opportunity.

119
00:10:31,167 --> 00:10:33,874
Won't take half a minute to explain.
Come inside, sir.

120
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,365
Come inside, please.

121
00:10:38,333 --> 00:10:40,039
Mind the step, please.

122
00:10:40,125 --> 00:10:41,535
What's the idea?

123
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:45,655
You know about that big sale
at lord fristover's place the other day?

124
00:10:45,750 --> 00:10:47,160
Well, I went

125
00:10:47,250 --> 00:10:51,493
and was lucky enough to get some of
his late lordship's clothes and suitcases.

126
00:10:51,583 --> 00:10:53,619
What do you expect me to do, cheer?

127
00:10:55,542 --> 00:10:57,533
You are not on my side yet, are you?

128
00:10:57,625 --> 00:10:59,786
Not specially, no.

129
00:10:59,875 --> 00:11:03,038
You will be, because it's lovely stuff.

130
00:11:03,125 --> 00:11:05,457
Savile row. Costs a fortune now.

131
00:11:05,542 --> 00:11:08,500
And I've been looking out for somebody
it would fit, and you are him.

132
00:11:08,583 --> 00:11:10,244
That's why I called you in.

133
00:11:10,333 --> 00:11:13,700
Try one of the jackets on.
Just try it. That's all.

134
00:11:14,833 --> 00:11:17,905
All right.
But I'm only doing it to amuse you.

135
00:11:26,583 --> 00:11:27,789
Mm-hm.

136
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:30,956
Wonderful.

137
00:11:34,083 --> 00:11:35,323
Beautiful.

138
00:11:36,583 --> 00:11:37,789
Perfect.

139
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,456
Even better than I thought.

140
00:11:40,542 --> 00:11:43,079
Don't take my word for it.
Have a look at yourself.

141
00:11:43,917 --> 00:11:45,032
Over there.

142
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:51,615
See what I mean?

143
00:11:51,708 --> 00:11:54,575
Best tailoring in London, in the world.

144
00:11:54,667 --> 00:11:57,659
Wear two or three suits like this
and a dinner jacket,

145
00:11:57,750 --> 00:11:59,411
and you're going to look like somebody.

146
00:11:59,500 --> 00:12:02,082
- You'll begin to live.
- A bit late.

147
00:12:02,833 --> 00:12:04,869
But I see what you mean.

148
00:12:04,958 --> 00:12:06,869
Let's have a look
at the rest of that stuff.

149
00:12:06,958 --> 00:12:08,198
Certainly.

150
00:12:10,042 --> 00:12:12,203
Thirty-five. Five, less three.

151
00:12:12,292 --> 00:12:14,203
Three, four, five, six.

152
00:12:14,292 --> 00:12:17,079
Sixty-five pounds, 16 shillings.

153
00:12:17,167 --> 00:12:18,748
Call it sixty-five pounds!

154
00:12:18,833 --> 00:12:21,040
And you know what I'll do for you?

155
00:12:21,125 --> 00:12:22,740
I'll throw this other case in.

156
00:12:22,833 --> 00:12:26,030
And that's because ['ve taken
a fancy to you and enjoyed myself.

157
00:12:26,125 --> 00:12:28,207
Well, what do you say?

158
00:12:28,292 --> 00:12:29,657
Sixty-five, eh?

159
00:12:30,292 --> 00:12:31,953
I believe I'm balmy, but all right.

160
00:12:32,042 --> 00:12:34,533
Sixty-five pounds,
and I take this lot and both cases.

161
00:12:34,625 --> 00:12:35,956
That's it.

162
00:12:36,042 --> 00:12:37,157
Now...

163
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:41,492
Believe it or not, but I have done you
a big favour this afternoon.

164
00:12:41,583 --> 00:12:43,790
And I want you to promise
to do me a little favour.

165
00:12:43,875 --> 00:12:45,615
- Will you?
- I don't know. I might.

166
00:12:45,708 --> 00:12:47,790
- Come on. Come on.
- All right, I will.

167
00:12:47,875 --> 00:12:51,413
Take that moustache off.
Doesn't go with this class of stuff.

168
00:12:52,125 --> 00:12:54,081
Make a nice all-round job of it.

169
00:12:54,167 --> 00:12:57,204
Just to please me,
have a neat little hair trim

170
00:12:57,292 --> 00:12:59,578
and get that moustache off.

171
00:12:59,667 --> 00:13:02,830
- Will it give me a stiff upper lip?
- Oh, for an hour or two.

172
00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:04,953
I need it for longer than that.

173
00:13:05,042 --> 00:13:08,910
My dear sir,
I'm going to tell you something.

174
00:13:09,708 --> 00:13:11,573
You've come into something big.

175
00:13:11,667 --> 00:13:13,203
And how do I know?

176
00:13:13,292 --> 00:13:15,078
It's the look in your eye.

177
00:13:15,167 --> 00:13:16,907
A special look.

178
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,456
And what does it tell me?

179
00:13:18,542 --> 00:13:20,282
It tells you I've come into something big.

180
00:13:20,375 --> 00:13:21,615
Quite so.

181
00:13:21,708 --> 00:13:22,914
But how big is it?

182
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:26,072
I don't know. Nobody knows.

183
00:13:26,167 --> 00:13:29,125
Or if they do know,
they've never told us properly.

184
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:32,366
And I'm leaving for it in the morning.

185
00:13:43,958 --> 00:13:45,414
The 15th?

186
00:13:47,500 --> 00:13:49,331
The same suite that you had before?

187
00:13:51,500 --> 00:13:53,491
Well, I'll speak to
mr gambini about it, madam,

188
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:56,074
but I don't think it's possible
to reduce our terms.

189
00:13:56,167 --> 00:13:59,159
Yes, very busy indeed. Goodbye, madam.

190
00:14:00,042 --> 00:14:02,499
- Yes, mrs rockingham?
- I had a message from mr gambini

191
00:14:02,583 --> 00:14:04,494
asking me if I'd call at his office.

192
00:14:04,583 --> 00:14:07,950
Oh, yes. Well, I'm afraid you'll have
to wait a few minutes, mrs rockingham.

193
00:14:08,042 --> 00:14:10,249
Mr gambini has mr Prescott with him.

194
00:14:18,958 --> 00:14:21,620
- A light?
- Thank you so much.

195
00:14:24,542 --> 00:14:25,827
Thank you.

196
00:14:27,875 --> 00:14:28,875
Good afternoon.

197
00:14:29,875 --> 00:14:31,786
I've a room booked here. My name's bird.

198
00:14:31,875 --> 00:14:34,537
Oh, yes, mr bird.
Um, single room, wasn't it?

199
00:14:34,625 --> 00:14:36,536
Will you sign here, please?

200
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:38,536
Just your name and address will do.

201
00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:45,490
I haven't any address, I'm afraid.

202
00:14:45,583 --> 00:14:46,789
Not any address?

203
00:14:47,958 --> 00:14:51,121
No. I've been travelling about
a good deal lately.

204
00:14:51,208 --> 00:14:52,789
I like travel, you know. Don't you?

205
00:14:52,875 --> 00:14:54,866
I like what I've heard about it.

206
00:14:54,958 --> 00:14:57,825
- Oh, I see you've been lucky, mr bird.
- Have I?

207
00:14:59,167 --> 00:15:01,032
Oh, I see what you mean.

208
00:15:01,125 --> 00:15:03,411
I'm sure mr bellinghurst
will appreciate your kindness.

209
00:15:03,500 --> 00:15:05,456
- Thank you.
- Not at all.

210
00:15:05,542 --> 00:15:08,249
Uh, mr gambini,
mr bird has just arrived.

211
00:15:08,333 --> 00:15:12,531
Oh, mr bird. Welcome to our regal hotel.
I am gambini, the manager.

212
00:15:12,625 --> 00:15:17,119
And if at any time you have the smallest
complaint, please come to me.

213
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:19,324
I hope you will enjoy
your stay with us very much.

214
00:15:19,417 --> 00:15:20,782
Thanks. I hope so too.

215
00:15:20,875 --> 00:15:23,742
We have many important people
stay with us, mr bird.

216
00:15:23,833 --> 00:15:26,996
This gentleman you see with me,
he is mr Prescott,

217
00:15:27,083 --> 00:15:29,699
secretary to mr bellinghurst,
cabinet minister.

218
00:15:29,792 --> 00:15:31,783
- Is he here?
- Yes, yes.

219
00:15:31,875 --> 00:15:33,740
He spent his convalescence with us here

220
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:37,246
and many very rich
and very important people.

221
00:15:37,333 --> 00:15:39,449
You said you wanted to see me,
mr gambini.

222
00:15:39,542 --> 00:15:41,373
I can't wait all day, you know.

223
00:15:41,458 --> 00:15:43,073
Of course, mrs rockingham.

224
00:15:43,167 --> 00:15:45,533
I'm sorry to keep you waiting.
This way, please.

225
00:15:47,042 --> 00:15:48,703
Just a little formality.

226
00:15:52,417 --> 00:15:56,456
Miss mellows, see that everything
is very nice for mr bird.

227
00:15:56,542 --> 00:16:00,080
Of course, mr gambini. I think you'll
find your room very comfortable,

228
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:01,998
but if not, please let me know.

229
00:16:02,083 --> 00:16:04,620
Page, take mr bird to 13.

230
00:16:27,250 --> 00:16:29,662
I forgot your soap.
I'm always forgetting

231
00:16:29,750 --> 00:16:32,036
because the last place I was in
they didn't give soap.

232
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,490
I see.

233
00:16:33,583 --> 00:16:35,073
What's the matter?

234
00:16:35,167 --> 00:16:38,455
- How do you mean, "what's the matter"?
- Well, why are we whispering?

235
00:16:38,542 --> 00:16:41,249
Oh, I've talked like this for years.
Can't help it.

236
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:43,745
I was in Birmingham before this,

237
00:16:43,833 --> 00:16:45,573
but I wanted to change.

238
00:16:45,667 --> 00:16:48,625
So did I and I've got one.
What's your name?

239
00:16:48,708 --> 00:16:50,118
Maggie craven.

240
00:16:51,375 --> 00:16:54,572
This is the poshest place
I've been in so far.

241
00:16:54,667 --> 00:16:57,454
It's the poshest place
I've been in so far too, Maggie.

242
00:16:57,542 --> 00:16:58,657
Ahem!

243
00:16:58,750 --> 00:17:00,741
That'll do, Maggie.
Nineteen's ringing for you.

244
00:17:00,833 --> 00:17:03,245
I bet she is. Never stops.

245
00:17:04,708 --> 00:17:08,451
- I'm mrs poole. I'm the housekeeper here.
- Oh, yes. Nice job?

246
00:17:08,542 --> 00:17:10,578
Well, I don't think we need discuss that.

247
00:17:10,667 --> 00:17:13,507
But if you've any complaint to make
about your room, please let me know.

248
00:17:13,542 --> 00:17:15,726
I shall be in the linen room
at the end of the corridor.

249
00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:16,956
Thank you.

250
00:17:18,292 --> 00:17:19,532
Thank you.

251
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:26,073
Bird, en? A general bird used to shoot
with my father when I was a girl.

252
00:17:26,167 --> 00:17:28,328
He'd an extremely large nose.

253
00:17:28,417 --> 00:17:30,328
Has your mr bird a large nose?

254
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,328
No, miss Hatfield. Just an ordinary nose.

255
00:17:32,417 --> 00:17:34,499
Oh, probably not the same family.

256
00:17:34,583 --> 00:17:37,746
I remember all these birds had long noses.

257
00:17:37,833 --> 00:17:40,119
Beaky birds we girls used to call them.

258
00:17:40,208 --> 00:17:44,577
Cor, you ought to see the labels on his
bags. Ships, aeroplanes, hotels all over.

259
00:17:44,667 --> 00:17:46,953
Cairo, India, New York, Los Angeles.

260
00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,601
Only give me a Tanner though
for taking him up.

261
00:17:49,625 --> 00:17:51,331
That proves he's got plenty of money.

262
00:17:51,417 --> 00:17:52,893
The richer they are,
the less they give you,

263
00:17:52,917 --> 00:17:55,408
cos they don't care
what you think of 'em, see?

264
00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:57,661
- Wonder what he is.
- How about secret service?

265
00:17:57,750 --> 00:17:59,741
How about working that lift?

266
00:18:25,542 --> 00:18:27,328
I say, mrs poole.

267
00:18:28,042 --> 00:18:30,124
Yes, mr bird?
Something wrong with your room?

268
00:18:30,208 --> 00:18:32,574
Oh, no. It's very nice, thank you.
It's, um...

269
00:18:32,667 --> 00:18:36,785
It's posh, isn't it? In fact,
it's the poshest you've been in so far.

270
00:18:36,875 --> 00:18:38,915
Please, don't shut that door.
I work here, you know.

271
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,200
We're not supposed to
shut ourselves in with the guests.

272
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:43,491
Oh, I wasn't thinking about
anything like that. I...

273
00:18:43,583 --> 00:18:47,155
I just wanted a word with you
in private, if you didn't mind.

274
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:48,786
I feel, um...

275
00:18:51,542 --> 00:18:53,749
I've... I've got to talk to somebody.

276
00:18:54,542 --> 00:18:56,783
Well, why me?
I'm only the housekeeper here.

277
00:18:57,917 --> 00:19:00,750
I shouldn't be in here anyhow. I'm sorry.

278
00:19:00,833 --> 00:19:02,824
Look, don't look at me like that.

279
00:19:02,917 --> 00:19:05,875
You come to a place like this ready
to spend £40 or £50 a week on yourself

280
00:19:05,958 --> 00:19:08,745
and look at me as though
you expect me to be sorry for you.

281
00:19:08,833 --> 00:19:10,619
It's the limit.

282
00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:14,784
If you get any wrong ideas about that,
I'll knock you senseless.

283
00:19:14,875 --> 00:19:18,493
Well, now that you're here, give me a hand
with this, and keep your voice down.

284
00:19:19,083 --> 00:19:20,493
By the way...

285
00:19:20,583 --> 00:19:25,031
Before you start, you might like to know
that you're already regarded here

286
00:19:25,125 --> 00:19:28,037
as a sort of mystery man,
whatever that may mean.

287
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:31,457
I oughtn't to have come here.
It's not my kind of place.

288
00:19:31,542 --> 00:19:33,643
What about all this travelling
you're supposed to have done?

289
00:19:33,667 --> 00:19:35,658
Only travelling I've done's
among midland farmers,

290
00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:37,184
trying to sell them farm implements.

291
00:19:37,208 --> 00:19:39,184
What's wrong with that?
Why didn't you go on with it?

292
00:19:39,208 --> 00:19:41,699
- Come into some money?
- No.

293
00:19:42,417 --> 00:19:44,703
Never earned more than about
nine pounds a week.

294
00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:46,953
But I'm not married,
and I've saved a few hundred.

295
00:19:47,042 --> 00:19:48,998
Well, you're not spending
your savings here?

296
00:19:50,917 --> 00:19:52,407
But why?

297
00:19:52,500 --> 00:19:54,582
Wanted a bit of high life?

298
00:19:55,958 --> 00:19:57,698
In a way, I suppose.

299
00:19:57,792 --> 00:19:59,999
I got into some trouble. Uh...

300
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,615
Heard some bad news.

301
00:20:03,375 --> 00:20:06,037
I thought I might as well have a flutter
while I'd still a chance.

302
00:20:06,125 --> 00:20:08,286
What bad news? What sort of trouble?

303
00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:10,161
Or don't you want to tell me?

304
00:20:15,292 --> 00:20:18,364
- Think I'd better not.
- All right. It's nothing to do with me.

305
00:20:19,292 --> 00:20:21,874
But you needn't think
I'm going to tell anybody about you.

306
00:20:22,917 --> 00:20:26,739
But now that you are here,
don't creep about looking apologetic.

307
00:20:26,833 --> 00:20:29,290
Be a mystery man,
or anything else you want to be.

308
00:20:29,375 --> 00:20:31,661
And tell 'em what you think.
It'll do 'em good.

309
00:20:44,583 --> 00:20:47,074
They could never get sir Herbert
to touch a tomato.

310
00:20:47,167 --> 00:20:48,657
One of his fads.

311
00:20:49,083 --> 00:20:51,119
- I'll take those.
- Yes, madam.

312
00:20:51,208 --> 00:20:53,119
"Nay, Herbert," I'd say,
"don't be so silly!"

313
00:20:53,208 --> 00:20:55,476
But it didn't make a bit of difference,
wouldn't touch 'em.

314
00:20:55,500 --> 00:20:56,956
Fancy!

315
00:20:57,042 --> 00:21:00,205
- What did I tell you? You would come here.
- I'm not grumbling, am I, Joe?

316
00:21:00,292 --> 00:21:02,749
Good as. I'm grumbling, all right.
Look at 'em. Look.

317
00:21:02,833 --> 00:21:05,324
About as much life here
as the old fourpenny waxworks.

318
00:21:05,417 --> 00:21:07,217
We ought to have gone
to Brighton like I said.

319
00:21:07,250 --> 00:21:09,616
You and your Brighton.

320
00:21:09,708 --> 00:21:13,656
So I was wondering if he could be
one of the beaky birds we used to know.

321
00:21:13,750 --> 00:21:16,082
One of the girls - Emily, I think it was -

322
00:21:16,167 --> 00:21:19,000
went mad and wouldn't
come out of the lumber room.

323
00:21:19,083 --> 00:21:21,449
Mr chalfont, you're not listening.

324
00:21:21,542 --> 00:21:24,614
What? Oh, yes, I am. You said lumber room.

325
00:21:24,708 --> 00:21:27,871
Very fond of lumber rooms.
Give you all sorts of ideas.

326
00:21:27,958 --> 00:21:29,744
Don't like birds in them though.

327
00:21:38,333 --> 00:21:40,073
That's the man, coming in now.

328
00:21:41,042 --> 00:21:44,114
- Well turned out. Savile row.
- He looks snooty to me.

329
00:21:44,875 --> 00:21:46,786
Possibly.
Don't like the look of him myself.

330
00:22:00,250 --> 00:22:02,616
If that's the man,
not one of the same birds.

331
00:22:02,708 --> 00:22:05,541
The family nose couldn't have
dwindled so rapidly.

332
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:07,581
Perhaps he's had an inch or two removed.

333
00:22:07,667 --> 00:22:10,204
Reminds me of sir Herbert's cousin Arthur,

334
00:22:10,292 --> 00:22:12,248
the one that went to Australia.

335
00:22:12,333 --> 00:22:14,574
- Fancy!
- Well, that's somebody new anyway.

336
00:22:14,667 --> 00:22:17,864
- Nice-looking sort of chap too, Joe.
- Gets me nowhere, does it?

337
00:22:17,958 --> 00:22:20,449
Unless that rockingham piece
starts acting a bit more friendly.

338
00:22:22,042 --> 00:22:24,408
Expecting your husband back tonight?

339
00:22:24,500 --> 00:22:27,458
I'm not sure. Either tonight
or early in the morning.

340
00:22:27,542 --> 00:22:29,453
I think he ought to be careful.

341
00:22:29,542 --> 00:22:31,908
- Why?
- These little trips abroad.

342
00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,786
He isn't the right type.

343
00:22:33,875 --> 00:22:37,538
- Too slapdash.
- I don't know what you're talking about.

344
00:23:14,208 --> 00:23:18,326
Take a card. Any card.
Look at it, but don't tell me what it is.

345
00:23:18,417 --> 00:23:20,749
You probably think this
is one of those trick packs

346
00:23:20,833 --> 00:23:22,824
with all the cards alike, but it isn't.

347
00:23:22,917 --> 00:23:25,454
Thanks. Your name's bird, isn't it?

348
00:23:25,542 --> 00:23:27,783
Mine's chalfont.
I hope you don't mind my doing this.

349
00:23:27,875 --> 00:23:30,912
I promised to do some tricks for the
boys' club down here on Saturday night,

350
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,117
- and I'm terribly rusty.
- Aren't you Rufus chalfont, the inventor?

351
00:23:34,208 --> 00:23:36,745
Yes. I designed a new undercarriage
for aircraft.

352
00:23:36,833 --> 00:23:39,575
They awarded me £10,000 tax-free
and I'm spending it.

353
00:23:39,667 --> 00:23:42,830
Trying to enjoy myself, till I can
find something else worth doing.

354
00:23:42,917 --> 00:23:44,828
You invented the chalfont subsoiler.

355
00:23:44,917 --> 00:23:48,455
Good man, good man! First sensible
remark I've heard today. Good fellow.

356
00:23:48,542 --> 00:23:50,533
Now look here, mr chalfont,

357
00:23:50,625 --> 00:23:52,786
if you really want to do
something else worth doing...

358
00:23:52,875 --> 00:23:54,991
Go on. This is like
getting back to civilisation.

359
00:23:55,083 --> 00:23:58,120
You ought to improve
on that old subsoiler of yours.

360
00:23:58,208 --> 00:24:00,950
Up to a point it's a good job,
but it keeps jamming, you know.

361
00:24:01,042 --> 00:24:03,875
- Yes, yes, yes. I do know.
- It's the blade, of course,

362
00:24:03,958 --> 00:24:05,869
but I wouldn't know how to improve it.

363
00:24:05,958 --> 00:24:08,268
Mmm. That blade wants thinking out
from the beginning, you know.

364
00:24:08,292 --> 00:24:10,203
My dear fellow,
I'm infinitely obliged to you.

365
00:24:10,292 --> 00:24:11,893
Of course the subsoiler's
the thing to work on.

366
00:24:11,917 --> 00:24:13,327
And we need it badly too.

367
00:24:13,417 --> 00:24:15,624
Ha-ha! You're a splendid fellow!

368
00:24:15,708 --> 00:24:17,824
Oh. That's the card you picked.

369
00:24:21,083 --> 00:24:22,948
- Mr bird?
- That's me.

370
00:24:23,042 --> 00:24:25,704
My name's Prescott,
private secretary to mr bellinghurst,

371
00:24:25,792 --> 00:24:27,532
who, as you probably know,
is staying here.

372
00:24:27,625 --> 00:24:30,018
- Yes, I heard he was.
- Well, the minister... mr bellinghurst,

373
00:24:30,042 --> 00:24:32,829
wonders if you care to join him
in a cocktail down in the bar,

374
00:24:32,917 --> 00:24:35,499
- about a quarter to eight.
- Are you sure it's me? Bird?

375
00:24:35,583 --> 00:24:38,950
Yes, of course. The minister is always
very anxious to talk to people.

376
00:24:39,042 --> 00:24:41,954
Gain their impressions
of government policy and so on.

377
00:24:42,042 --> 00:24:44,829
- You can be quite frank with him.
- All right, I will.

378
00:24:44,917 --> 00:24:48,284
A quarter to eight then,
in the little cocktail bar. Splendid.

379
00:25:02,958 --> 00:25:04,289
Bless you!

380
00:25:08,958 --> 00:25:10,823
Really, miss fox, I'm surprised at you.

381
00:25:10,917 --> 00:25:14,660
- Li wasn't thinking, lady oswington.
- And he wasn't sneezing neither.

382
00:25:14,750 --> 00:25:18,117
Hiding his face, if you ask me.
Very peculiar. Hmph!

383
00:25:18,208 --> 00:25:20,164
Very peculiar indeed.

384
00:25:27,292 --> 00:25:29,203
What do I do about this?

385
00:25:29,292 --> 00:25:30,292
Come here.

386
00:25:31,125 --> 00:25:32,661
Can't look after yourself, can you?

387
00:25:32,750 --> 00:25:34,536
Seems like it. I'm sorry.

388
00:25:34,625 --> 00:25:37,287
Oh, don't apologise.
How are you getting on?

389
00:25:37,375 --> 00:25:39,491
Well, I've started an inventor reinventing

390
00:25:39,583 --> 00:25:41,559
and I've just been asked to have a drink
with a cabinet minister.

391
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:44,450
- How's that?
- All right, so far. There.

392
00:25:46,458 --> 00:25:48,699
Thank you very much, mrs poole.
It's very kind.

393
00:25:48,792 --> 00:25:51,283
No, it isn't very kind of me.
I like doing it.

394
00:25:52,208 --> 00:25:54,574
- And don't look at me like that.
- Like what?

395
00:25:55,292 --> 00:25:57,932
Like a little lost dog or something.
In a minute, you'll have me...

396
00:25:58,875 --> 00:26:00,831
Oh, I wish you'd tell me what's wrong.

397
00:26:02,208 --> 00:26:04,824
All right. Off you go,
and don't let anybody see you.

398
00:26:12,833 --> 00:26:15,540
- What can I get you?
- A white lady for me, please.

399
00:26:15,625 --> 00:26:17,081
Ah, mr bird.

400
00:26:17,708 --> 00:26:20,700
- White lady and a double Martini, George.
- Yes, sir.

401
00:26:23,792 --> 00:26:25,703
All right, Joe. You've seen her now.

402
00:26:25,792 --> 00:26:27,623
No harm in looking, is there?

403
00:26:27,708 --> 00:26:29,573
What have I gotta do
so you get to know her?

404
00:26:29,667 --> 00:26:31,658
Give her chloroform?
Who wanted to come here?

405
00:26:31,750 --> 00:26:33,991
We're half a mile out of our depth,
that's what we are.

406
00:26:36,667 --> 00:26:38,828
Well, now, mr bird,
what do you really think about us?

407
00:26:38,917 --> 00:26:40,908
You're doing all right.

408
00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:42,831
That's what we want to hear, eh, Prescott?

409
00:26:42,917 --> 00:26:44,828
Doing all right. Course we are.

410
00:26:44,917 --> 00:26:47,499
But you're making one or two
very bad mistakes.

411
00:26:49,665 --> 00:26:49,748
On, we are, en'?
Well, just tell me one.

412
00:26:49,749 --> 00:26:52,393
Do you really want to know, mr
bellinghurst, or are we just chattering?

413
00:26:52,417 --> 00:26:54,829
No. Go on, my dear chap, tell me.

414
00:26:54,917 --> 00:26:56,828
We make machinery and send it abroad, eh?

415
00:26:56,917 --> 00:26:59,033
- Certainly. Must have exports.
- Yes, quite.

416
00:26:59,125 --> 00:27:01,741
Yes, but a lot of that machinery
will be used to make the goods

417
00:27:01,833 --> 00:27:03,539
we want to sell people abroad.

418
00:27:03,625 --> 00:27:05,559
In the meantime,
we aren't making enough machinery

419
00:27:05,583 --> 00:27:07,164
to improve our own agriculture here,

420
00:27:07,250 --> 00:27:10,697
to grow more food for ourselves,
which is the most important thing of all.

421
00:27:10,792 --> 00:27:13,909
- That's what you think, eh?
- I don't think, I know.

422
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:18,198
I could show you 200 farms in one county
that are crying out for more machinery -

423
00:27:18,292 --> 00:27:22,456
combine harvesters, drying plants,
muck-spreaders, new disc harrows.

424
00:27:22,542 --> 00:27:25,375
I'm sorry, minister, but you've
an engagement immediately after dinner.

425
00:27:25,458 --> 00:27:27,369
Yes, we'll have to go in.

426
00:27:28,708 --> 00:27:31,666
I want some more information
from you, mr bird.

427
00:27:31,750 --> 00:27:34,492
Tomorrow, perhaps.
So don't run away or drop dead.

428
00:27:44,542 --> 00:27:46,658
Something there I might use,
you know, Prescott.

429
00:27:46,750 --> 00:27:48,059
Just what I was thinking, minister.

430
00:27:48,083 --> 00:27:51,018
Make a note to get hold of that chap
for me as soon as I've an hour to spare.

431
00:27:51,042 --> 00:27:52,953
Up in my room, tomorrow, or the day after.

432
00:27:53,042 --> 00:27:55,122
Yes, minister. Yes, of course.
Yes, certainly I will.

433
00:27:58,250 --> 00:27:59,365
Thank you.

434
00:27:59,458 --> 00:28:00,618
Won't you join us?

435
00:28:00,708 --> 00:28:04,030
And I'm in the chair. So what will
you have, mr bird? Double Martini?

436
00:28:04,125 --> 00:28:06,081
A glass of beer, thank you.

437
00:28:08,458 --> 00:28:12,121
- You don't mean it?
- Yes, I do. I always mean what I say.

438
00:28:13,083 --> 00:28:15,039
- But how exciting.
- Isn't it?

439
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:17,809
But that means, if someone
asks you a question,

440
00:28:17,833 --> 00:28:19,184
you've got to give them a truthful answer.

441
00:28:19,208 --> 00:28:20,869
Well, what's wrong with that?

442
00:28:20,958 --> 00:28:23,244
Why shouldn't we tell the truth
to each other?

443
00:28:23,333 --> 00:28:26,040
Because, for one thing,
most of us couldn't take it.

444
00:28:26,125 --> 00:28:27,490
Could you?

445
00:28:27,583 --> 00:28:28,868
I've had to.

446
00:28:32,667 --> 00:28:34,407
What are you thinking about?

447
00:28:34,500 --> 00:28:35,910
The truth, remember?

448
00:28:37,333 --> 00:28:39,949
I was thinking that
if I'd seen you outside somewhere...

449
00:28:41,375 --> 00:28:43,161
Looking like that...

450
00:28:43,250 --> 00:28:46,117
I'd have thought you were
out of some other world.

451
00:28:46,208 --> 00:28:50,451
And yet here you are, as real as I am.

452
00:28:51,792 --> 00:28:54,704
You know, there's something
rather frightening about you, mr bird.

453
00:28:54,792 --> 00:28:56,578
Oh, dear.

454
00:28:57,917 --> 00:28:59,077
All right, Joe Clarence.

455
00:28:59,167 --> 00:29:00,893
If you want to get to know her
as bad as all that,

456
00:29:00,917 --> 00:29:02,757
why don't you go across
and introduce yourself?

457
00:29:02,833 --> 00:29:04,643
That's just what I would do,
if we was anywhere human,

458
00:29:04,667 --> 00:29:06,101
not in a stuffed-shirt dump like this.

459
00:29:06,125 --> 00:29:08,726
Don't be silly. What's the difference?
They can't eat you, can they?

460
00:29:08,750 --> 00:29:11,947
And talking about eating,
it'll be dinnertime in a minute.

461
00:29:12,042 --> 00:29:14,533
So come on, Joe. Make up your mind.

462
00:29:16,000 --> 00:29:18,366
All right. I'll have a bash at it.

463
00:29:18,458 --> 00:29:20,870
Follow me, girl,
and keep your fingers crossed.

464
00:29:22,792 --> 00:29:26,159
Excuse me. Uh, you're the very spit
of a bloke I met up at haringey.

465
00:29:26,250 --> 00:29:27,740
Sorry, I've never been there.

466
00:29:28,958 --> 00:29:32,075
There you are, Joe. What did I tell you?
You and your haringey.

467
00:29:32,167 --> 00:29:35,204
- All right. I made a mistake.
- And it doesn't matter, mr?

468
00:29:35,292 --> 00:29:37,954
- Uh, Clarence. Joe Clarence.
- We've met now, haven't we?

469
00:29:38,042 --> 00:29:39,998
- That's right, mr bird.
- So join the party.

470
00:29:40,083 --> 00:29:41,823
That's what I wanted to hear
the whole week.

471
00:29:41,917 --> 00:29:43,851
- You'll all have one with me. George.
- Yes, sir.

472
00:29:43,875 --> 00:29:45,809
Now come on, let's enjoy our miserable
selves and you know why, chum?

473
00:29:45,833 --> 00:29:46,492
No, I'll buy it.

474
00:29:46,583 --> 00:29:48,164
Cos we're a long time dead.

475
00:29:49,333 --> 00:29:51,995
Excuse me. I've just remembered something.

476
00:30:08,125 --> 00:30:10,081
Where now would you like me
to put you, sir?

477
00:30:10,167 --> 00:30:12,658
- Put me?
- For dinner, sir.

478
00:30:35,375 --> 00:30:39,197
J I'll sing thee songs of araby! J

479
00:30:39,292 --> 00:30:43,956
j and tales of k... fair cashmere j

480
00:30:44,042 --> 00:30:48,536
j I'll sing thee songs of araby! and

481
00:30:48,625 --> 00:30:50,741
j that's what you'll love to hear! J

482
00:30:50,833 --> 00:30:52,539
what's the idea?

483
00:30:52,625 --> 00:30:54,991
- Finishing a job, that's all.
- Wake you up, did we?

484
00:30:55,083 --> 00:30:57,039
Nearly knocked me out of bed.

485
00:30:57,125 --> 00:30:58,865
Well, you've gotta get up sometime, chum.

486
00:30:58,958 --> 00:31:02,325
We can't all be the idle rich, you know.
We don't get our lay-in till Saturday.

487
00:31:04,875 --> 00:31:06,601
Oh, mr bird...

488
00:31:06,625 --> 00:31:09,332
- I'm sorry about all this noise.
- It's a bit thick, you know.

489
00:31:09,417 --> 00:31:11,518
Well, of course, it is horrible.
But, you see, mr bird,

490
00:31:11,542 --> 00:31:14,659
there is one of our best clients
who stay here often long time.

491
00:31:14,750 --> 00:31:17,207
He arrange with me to make
some changes in his sitting room.

492
00:31:17,292 --> 00:31:19,578
Today he come back,
so we must finish quick, eh?

493
00:31:19,667 --> 00:31:21,999
You know this gentleman, sir Robert Kyle?

494
00:31:22,083 --> 00:31:24,199
Very important gentleman from Scotland.

495
00:31:24,292 --> 00:31:27,364
Very, very rich.
Millionaire. From "sheeps".

496
00:31:27,458 --> 00:31:29,824
- Sheep?
- No, no. Big ships.

497
00:31:29,917 --> 00:31:31,873
To go in the water.

498
00:31:31,958 --> 00:31:37,498
Mr bird, I ask the waiter to bring you
a very nice breakfast, especially for you.

499
00:31:43,875 --> 00:31:46,947
So I got this commercial type
to give me a lift from southampton.

500
00:31:47,042 --> 00:31:49,124
About all I did get on this trip.

501
00:31:49,208 --> 00:31:50,948
No, the luck's out, darling.

502
00:31:52,208 --> 00:31:55,200
I wish you wouldn't do that in here.
We still have a bathroom.

503
00:31:55,292 --> 00:31:56,828
Only just, I imagine.

504
00:31:58,458 --> 00:32:00,540
Gambini sent for me yesterday.

505
00:32:00,625 --> 00:32:02,991
I had to swear you'd pay him
as soon as you got back.

506
00:32:03,083 --> 00:32:04,698
I can't, of course.

507
00:32:04,792 --> 00:32:06,748
It's not that that's worrying me.

508
00:32:09,417 --> 00:32:11,453
You'd better tell me, hadn't you, Derek?

509
00:32:11,542 --> 00:32:13,954
Hmm. No, I'd better not.

510
00:32:14,042 --> 00:32:17,990
But if you know how to raise about 300
like lightning and with no security,

511
00:32:18,083 --> 00:32:20,699
now is the time to tell me how it's done.

512
00:32:20,792 --> 00:32:23,158
No, uh, diamond necklaces
tucked away anywhere?

513
00:32:23,250 --> 00:32:26,742
Don't be silly. Everything I had
that was worth selling has gone.

514
00:32:26,833 --> 00:32:28,164
Mm.

515
00:32:28,250 --> 00:32:29,660
Anybody new in the pub?

516
00:32:30,500 --> 00:32:33,788
Yes. A man called bird,
who rather likes me.

517
00:32:34,708 --> 00:32:38,200
Though he makes me feel uncomfortable.
I can't think why.

518
00:32:38,292 --> 00:32:40,248
- Rich type?
- Could be.

519
00:32:40,792 --> 00:32:43,078
It's hard to say. I can't make him out.

520
00:32:43,167 --> 00:32:45,829
- Well, a bird in the hand...
- Not funny.

521
00:32:45,917 --> 00:32:49,364
Perhaps not. But if you knew
as much as I do, pretty heroic.

522
00:32:50,500 --> 00:32:52,786
Oh, well. I'll have a shot at wrexham.

523
00:32:52,875 --> 00:32:56,538
If that's no go, I'll have a last try
at one or two old comrades in town.

524
00:32:58,292 --> 00:33:00,499
Nice people we're turning into.

525
00:33:00,583 --> 00:33:02,995
Squadron leader Derek rockingham, d.F.C.

526
00:33:03,083 --> 00:33:05,870
Sheila, only daughter of admiral Brenton.

527
00:33:05,958 --> 00:33:08,620
- And now, look at us!
- Now listen, poppet...

528
00:33:08,708 --> 00:33:11,245
- I won't.
- Oh, yes, you will.

529
00:33:22,500 --> 00:33:24,976
Well, I'm sorry, madam, but it's
a strict rule with the management

530
00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:26,786
that no young children are allowed.

531
00:33:28,292 --> 00:33:29,953
I think it's a shame too.

532
00:33:30,042 --> 00:33:32,033
I'd rather have children
and not stay here.

533
00:33:32,125 --> 00:33:34,491
- Good morning.
- Good morning.

534
00:33:35,083 --> 00:33:36,083
Goodbye.

535
00:33:36,875 --> 00:33:38,365
Nice place you have here.

536
00:33:38,458 --> 00:33:40,184
If you'd like to talk
to your friends about it,

537
00:33:40,208 --> 00:33:41,809
we have a small handbook I could give you.

538
00:33:41,833 --> 00:33:43,073
No, thank you.

539
00:33:43,167 --> 00:33:46,284
As a matter of fact, I was wondering
if a friend of mine was staying here.

540
00:33:46,375 --> 00:33:48,582
Is his name Smith or Robinson?

541
00:33:48,667 --> 00:33:50,282
Smart girl, aren't you?

542
00:33:50,375 --> 00:33:53,867
- Ministry of food?
- Good lord, no. Do I look like a snooper?

543
00:33:53,958 --> 00:33:56,290
- Yes, I think you do, rather.
- Well, I'm not.

544
00:33:57,083 --> 00:34:00,120
But as a favour...
Purely as a favour, mind you,

545
00:34:00,208 --> 00:34:02,620
would you allow me to glance
through your register?

546
00:34:06,208 --> 00:34:08,969
If you want any information,
you'd better ask the manager, mr gambini.

547
00:34:09,042 --> 00:34:11,408
Gambini, eh? Not perhaps what I want.

548
00:34:12,250 --> 00:34:14,662
- What about you?
- It's no good.

549
00:34:14,750 --> 00:34:16,911
Don't know enough about
the customers and don't care.

550
00:34:17,000 --> 00:34:19,412
Just waiting for a young man
in Kenya to send for me.

551
00:34:19,500 --> 00:34:21,912
Oh, I see. Well, good luck.

552
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,241
There's a mrs poole here, is there?

553
00:34:25,417 --> 00:34:27,624
Mrs poole's the housekeeper.
Do you know her?

554
00:34:27,708 --> 00:34:29,573
I used to know her husband.

555
00:34:29,667 --> 00:34:31,874
I'd like to have a word with her.

556
00:34:31,958 --> 00:34:34,040
Could you, uh, fix it?

557
00:34:35,208 --> 00:34:37,449
Just wait over there,
my dear Holmes, will you?

558
00:34:37,542 --> 00:34:39,624
Of course. But the name's wilton.

559
00:34:44,375 --> 00:34:46,601
You know, what you did last night
made all the difference to him.

560
00:34:46,625 --> 00:34:48,581
- Didn't it, Joe?
- It did.

561
00:34:48,667 --> 00:34:50,684
And listen, George, old son,
I'd like to do you a favour.

562
00:34:50,708 --> 00:34:52,748
Make you a nice little packet,
if you're interested.

563
00:34:52,833 --> 00:34:54,869
I might be, Joe.

564
00:34:56,917 --> 00:34:59,283
- Oh, mr bird.
- Excuse me.

565
00:35:00,958 --> 00:35:02,744
Might be me she's after really. Eh?

566
00:35:02,833 --> 00:35:05,449
- Then again, it might not.
- Come on!

567
00:35:05,542 --> 00:35:07,268
You weren't going out
with those people, were you?

568
00:35:07,292 --> 00:35:08,657
Yes. Putting. Why not?

569
00:35:08,750 --> 00:35:10,866
- Common as dirt.
- So am I.

570
00:35:10,958 --> 00:35:12,289
Perhaps we all are.

571
00:35:12,375 --> 00:35:14,161
You'd better join us.

572
00:35:14,250 --> 00:35:17,663
Oh, all right. But I'd like to
talk to you alone sometime.

573
00:35:21,208 --> 00:35:23,665
- I can give you a quarter of an hour.
- Thanks.

574
00:35:30,833 --> 00:35:32,448
Whh! Mr Holmes.

575
00:35:33,167 --> 00:35:35,643
You'll find her at the end
of the landing on the second floor.

576
00:35:35,667 --> 00:35:36,952
Name's on the door.

577
00:35:38,125 --> 00:35:39,285
Much obliged.

578
00:35:42,625 --> 00:35:44,707
Oh, we're not altogether strangers.

579
00:35:44,792 --> 00:35:47,499
Frank and I were in "c" division
and up at hendon together.

580
00:35:47,583 --> 00:35:49,539
You've probably heard him mention me.

581
00:35:49,625 --> 00:35:51,456
Yes, I remember.

582
00:35:51,542 --> 00:35:54,409
- But what's it all about anyhow?
- Currency smuggling.

583
00:35:55,250 --> 00:35:57,741
What do you know about this chap bird?

584
00:35:57,833 --> 00:35:59,198
Bird? Yes.

585
00:36:00,458 --> 00:36:02,378
Well, the smart clothes he wears
are second-hand.

586
00:36:02,417 --> 00:36:05,454
They belonged to lord fristover,
who lived at chanbury in the Midlands.

587
00:36:06,292 --> 00:36:08,453
Two of his shirts were bought
at a shop in chanbury,

588
00:36:08,542 --> 00:36:10,703
so I think he comes from chanbury.

589
00:36:11,875 --> 00:36:13,706
Yes, but what's he doing here?

590
00:36:13,792 --> 00:36:16,158
Spending his savings to see life.

591
00:36:17,042 --> 00:36:19,562
Oh, just when I thought I needn't
worry about people any longer,

592
00:36:19,625 --> 00:36:21,581
I had to start worrying about this chump.

593
00:36:21,667 --> 00:36:24,579
Just because he has a helpless look
and I don't know what it means,

594
00:36:24,667 --> 00:36:26,908
I had to start getting upset
and trying to help.

595
00:36:27,000 --> 00:36:28,035
It's idiotic.

596
00:36:28,125 --> 00:36:30,116
I thought you women
liked worrying about somebody.

597
00:36:30,208 --> 00:36:32,164
No, I hate this "you women" stuff.

598
00:36:32,250 --> 00:36:36,243
But if you must know, if we don't worry,
then we feel only half alive

599
00:36:36,333 --> 00:36:38,949
and if we do worry,
then we worry and worry, and...

600
00:36:39,042 --> 00:36:41,249
Oh, I thought I had more sense.

601
00:36:41,333 --> 00:36:43,039
Well, I'm glad you haven't.

602
00:36:43,125 --> 00:36:45,616
Can you tell me anything
about the rockinghams?

603
00:36:46,792 --> 00:36:48,748
Good-looking, nice clothes,
plenty of charm,

604
00:36:48,833 --> 00:36:51,324
but he can't pay his bill
and might be getting into mischief.

605
00:36:51,417 --> 00:36:52,657
Mm.

606
00:36:52,750 --> 00:36:55,036
Well, I may need your help again
later on. Do you mind?

607
00:36:55,125 --> 00:36:56,911
Not at all. I'll do all I can to help you.

608
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:58,115
Thank you.

609
00:37:00,250 --> 00:37:01,365
Goodbye.

610
00:37:05,625 --> 00:37:08,367
I was wandering whether
you'd like to lend me £250, wrexham.

611
00:37:08,458 --> 00:37:09,948
The answer is no.

612
00:37:10,042 --> 00:37:12,579
Lovely morning.
I'm always fond of early Autumn.

613
00:37:12,667 --> 00:37:16,615
I've, uh, put up one or two blacks lately.
Things are looking pretty nasty.

614
00:37:16,708 --> 00:37:18,869
I'm not surprised.
In fact, I told Sheila yesterday,

615
00:37:18,958 --> 00:37:20,698
you ought to be more careful.

616
00:37:20,792 --> 00:37:22,453
Sheila, eh?

617
00:37:22,542 --> 00:37:25,329
By the way, I wouldn't make any mistake
there, if I were you, wrexham.

618
00:37:25,417 --> 00:37:27,203
She's still very devoted to me.

619
00:37:27,292 --> 00:37:29,157
Strange but true.

620
00:37:29,250 --> 00:37:33,038
- What about this fellow bird?
- I shouldn't count on anything there.

621
00:37:33,125 --> 00:37:34,740
Everybody seems impressed except me.

622
00:37:34,833 --> 00:37:37,996
I think he's a counterjumper
who took a lucky dip in a football pool.

623
00:37:38,083 --> 00:37:39,948
Well, he might be worth trying.

624
00:37:40,875 --> 00:37:43,708
I think I'll run up to town first
and see if I can raise anything.

625
00:37:45,125 --> 00:37:46,410
Poor old Derek.

626
00:37:46,500 --> 00:37:49,572
He's rather desperate just now,
poor lamb, trying to raise some money.

627
00:37:49,667 --> 00:37:52,158
- Has he tried everything?
- Yes, absolutely everything.

628
00:37:52,250 --> 00:37:53,581
Even working?

629
00:37:54,667 --> 00:37:56,407
Isn't that rather a beastly remark?

630
00:37:56,500 --> 00:37:58,536
It depends how you feel about work.

631
00:37:59,583 --> 00:38:01,824
I've got a very hot tip on a horse.
Get you tens on it.

632
00:38:01,917 --> 00:38:03,873
All you gotta do is stick on 50 quid,
same as me.

633
00:38:03,958 --> 00:38:05,476
And you're not telling me
anything about it?

634
00:38:05,500 --> 00:38:08,220
Can't, chum, cos I promised.
So, you gotta make up your mind, George.

635
00:38:08,250 --> 00:38:10,491
Either I'm doing you a favour
or I'm playing a con game.

636
00:38:10,583 --> 00:38:12,323
Either you trust me or you don't.

637
00:38:14,917 --> 00:38:17,283
All right, Joe. I trust you.
Put 50 on for me.

638
00:38:17,375 --> 00:38:19,115
That's the talk, Georgie.

639
00:38:21,458 --> 00:38:23,619
I was just stealing
a cutting for my garden.

640
00:38:23,708 --> 00:38:25,448
I always do, wherever I go.

641
00:38:25,542 --> 00:38:28,614
- My mother always did.
- Ah, thank you, mr bird.

642
00:38:29,458 --> 00:38:32,905
When my husband, sir Herbert, was alive,
we kept ten gardeners.

643
00:38:33,000 --> 00:38:34,991
- Fancy.
- Now I've only three.

644
00:38:35,083 --> 00:38:38,075
And I've only one
and he's even older than I am.

645
00:38:38,167 --> 00:38:40,499
Eighty, if a day, the poor old thing.

646
00:38:41,250 --> 00:38:44,788
Mr bird seems a very unhappy young man.
Have you noticed it?

647
00:38:44,875 --> 00:38:46,831
- I can't say I have.
- Well, I have.

648
00:38:46,917 --> 00:38:48,748
But then they all are now.

649
00:38:48,833 --> 00:38:50,824
They try to be sane in a mad world,

650
00:38:50,917 --> 00:38:53,909
while, when I was a girl,
we tried to be mad in a sane world.

651
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,867
So much more satisfactory,
don't you think?

652
00:38:56,958 --> 00:38:58,164
Hmph!

653
00:39:00,042 --> 00:39:02,249
Been doing some work
on our subsoiler blade, old man.

654
00:39:02,333 --> 00:39:05,075
- Our subsoiler blade?
- Yes. I want you to come in with me.

655
00:39:05,167 --> 00:39:07,851
Take a look at this. There's a proposition
there I think might interest you.

656
00:39:07,875 --> 00:39:10,268
Don't want to rush you, of course,
but look it over as soon as you can.

657
00:39:10,292 --> 00:39:11,748
What are you doing this afternoon?

658
00:39:11,833 --> 00:39:14,620
Playing croquet with mrs rockingham,
miss Hatfield and you.

659
00:39:14,708 --> 00:39:16,664
I've forgotten how to play croquet.

660
00:39:16,750 --> 00:39:18,331
I've never played in my life.

661
00:39:20,250 --> 00:39:22,741
Good shot, partner!

662
00:39:23,708 --> 00:39:26,199
So, as far as I can see,
chalfont's offered me a job

663
00:39:26,292 --> 00:39:28,203
that starts at a fat salary,
plus commission.

664
00:39:28,292 --> 00:39:30,157
- That's all.
- Not good enough?

665
00:39:30,250 --> 00:39:32,491
Not good enough? A week ago, I'd...

666
00:39:32,583 --> 00:39:35,620
- Well, what about a week ago?
- Your turn, mr bird.

667
00:39:36,750 --> 00:39:38,081
What do I do now?

668
00:39:38,167 --> 00:39:41,284
You put your ball
through that hoop, partner.

669
00:39:41,375 --> 00:39:43,582
Though it's about
a hundred-to-one you can't.

670
00:39:43,667 --> 00:39:45,623
You never know these days.

671
00:39:51,875 --> 00:39:53,115
You've done it!

672
00:39:53,208 --> 00:39:55,824
You're too good for us, mr bird.

673
00:39:55,917 --> 00:39:57,282
How do you do it?

674
00:39:58,042 --> 00:39:59,578
Luck. Just luck.

675
00:39:59,667 --> 00:40:01,783
Your go, mrs rockingham.

676
00:40:03,083 --> 00:40:04,414
I've had a word from old Kyle.

677
00:40:04,500 --> 00:40:06,081
He's interested in our proposition.

678
00:40:06,167 --> 00:40:08,123
He may be able to help us
with the metal too.

679
00:40:08,208 --> 00:40:10,268
Now, that blade ought to be lighter,
don't you think?

680
00:40:10,292 --> 00:40:12,874
Yes, and thinner,
if you can make it just as strong.

681
00:40:12,958 --> 00:40:14,368
I'm on to that, my dear fellow.

682
00:40:14,458 --> 00:40:17,655
Come along, mr chalfont.
Don't stand gossiping there.

683
00:40:17,750 --> 00:40:19,866
No, no, partner. Keen as mustard.

684
00:40:19,958 --> 00:40:21,598
Silly game, this. Make it rain, will you?

685
00:40:21,667 --> 00:40:23,874
Anything to oblige. Rain, please.

686
00:40:41,958 --> 00:40:43,038
Thank you.

687
00:40:53,958 --> 00:40:56,950
- What a horrible cigarette case.
- I'm a horrible man.

688
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:06,865
Do you know anything about hands?

689
00:41:07,583 --> 00:41:08,663
No.

690
00:41:09,458 --> 00:41:11,574
I have a cousin who specialises in them.

691
00:41:11,667 --> 00:41:13,749
She looks at hands more than faces.

692
00:41:14,875 --> 00:41:17,241
I don't really observe anything very much.

693
00:41:17,333 --> 00:41:19,790
I'm really in a dream half the time.

694
00:41:19,875 --> 00:41:21,160
Pleasant dream?

695
00:41:22,042 --> 00:41:23,373
Not lately.

696
00:41:25,375 --> 00:41:27,161
We were going to talk about me,
weren't we?

697
00:41:27,250 --> 00:41:28,285
Yes.

698
00:41:29,042 --> 00:41:31,203
Well, if you don't mind, I think we won't.

699
00:41:38,333 --> 00:41:40,244
I'm sorry, I don't like your cigarettes.

700
00:41:40,333 --> 00:41:43,450
- They're the cheapest I can find.
- Cheap things are a mistake.

701
00:41:43,542 --> 00:41:46,079
It's a bigger mistake
to buy things you can't afford.

702
00:41:47,167 --> 00:41:50,705
Why do you say things like that to me
and then smile like that?

703
00:41:50,792 --> 00:41:53,784
I'm probably trying to do
everything I can to impress you.

704
00:41:56,500 --> 00:41:57,956
Kiss me.

705
00:42:10,792 --> 00:42:11,907
No?

706
00:42:13,125 --> 00:42:14,285
No.

707
00:42:15,667 --> 00:42:17,999
I'm sorry.
I must still be in love with Derek.

708
00:42:19,625 --> 00:42:20,956
What a nuisance.

709
00:42:25,917 --> 00:42:27,453
Well, say something.

710
00:42:27,542 --> 00:42:29,123
All right, then. Get out of this

711
00:42:29,208 --> 00:42:32,325
and start living a real life somewhere
while there's still time.

712
00:42:33,792 --> 00:42:35,143
I don't think I want to listen to this.

713
00:42:35,167 --> 00:42:37,726
No, but for once you're going to do
something you don't want to do.

714
00:42:37,750 --> 00:42:41,538
And I say start living a real life.
Your last chance may be slipping away.

715
00:42:41,625 --> 00:42:44,822
If you still want your husband, then
take him away and make him into something.

716
00:42:44,917 --> 00:42:47,750
If he isn't worth it, then clear out
yourself, before it's too late.

717
00:42:47,833 --> 00:42:50,040
- Mind your own damn business.
- Certainly.

718
00:42:50,125 --> 00:42:53,447
I only wish someone had talked to me
like that ten years ago, five years ago.

719
00:42:53,542 --> 00:42:54,998
- I'm going.
- You'll get wet.

720
00:42:55,083 --> 00:42:56,948
I don't care if I drown!

721
00:42:59,500 --> 00:43:01,809
I would never live
with this trash about the place!

722
00:43:01,833 --> 00:43:03,369
Look at it yourself!

723
00:43:07,000 --> 00:43:08,706
There's no honest workmanship in that!

724
00:43:09,708 --> 00:43:12,018
Might as well have asked
a couple of schoolgirls to do the job

725
00:43:12,042 --> 00:43:14,249
with cardboard and a poke of tin tacks.

726
00:43:14,333 --> 00:43:17,245
Please, sir Robert, I tell you,
I ask for the best workmen,

727
00:43:17,333 --> 00:43:18,948
the best material, especially for you.

728
00:43:19,042 --> 00:43:21,624
A laddie with a wee fretwork set
could have done better.

729
00:43:21,708 --> 00:43:23,726
I don't know what the country's
coming to when the likes of that

730
00:43:23,750 --> 00:43:25,365
passes for a job of work. Huh!

731
00:43:25,458 --> 00:43:27,164
Man, gambini, they may swindle you,

732
00:43:27,250 --> 00:43:29,351
but they won't get away with that
while I'm about the place.

733
00:43:29,375 --> 00:43:30,375
I say.

734
00:43:32,667 --> 00:43:34,587
Well, my dear sir,
and what might you be wanting?

735
00:43:34,667 --> 00:43:37,283
Let me know if you're going
right through that wall

736
00:43:37,375 --> 00:43:39,616
because I happen to live
on the other side.

737
00:43:39,708 --> 00:43:41,915
I asked for some alterations
to be made here.

738
00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:44,366
I know, I heard about them.

739
00:43:44,458 --> 00:43:46,574
Well, look what they've given me.

740
00:43:50,833 --> 00:43:52,494
That's what you get nowadays.

741
00:43:52,583 --> 00:43:53,948
Not a decent tradesman left.

742
00:43:54,042 --> 00:43:56,203
Just fellas hanging around,
waiting for cups of tea.

743
00:43:56,292 --> 00:43:59,409
Now, be fair. Look at the rotten stuff
these chaps had to use.

744
00:44:00,375 --> 00:44:02,286
- What's your name, sir?
- Bird.

745
00:44:02,375 --> 00:44:04,366
And you're sir Robert Kyle.
I've heard of you.

746
00:44:04,458 --> 00:44:06,744
Very likely. But let me tell you

747
00:44:06,833 --> 00:44:09,825
that I was working on the Clyde with
these two hands before you were born.

748
00:44:09,917 --> 00:44:11,657
Maybe, but you had
good stuff to work with.

749
00:44:11,750 --> 00:44:13,741
- Aye, I did.
- And these chaps hadn't.

750
00:44:13,833 --> 00:44:15,869
They had to take what they could get.

751
00:44:15,958 --> 00:44:18,244
We've had two world wars
and some nasty knocks

752
00:44:18,333 --> 00:44:20,540
since you worked
with your hands, sir Robert.

753
00:44:22,333 --> 00:44:25,120
Hello, hello! Welcome back, sir Robert.

754
00:44:25,208 --> 00:44:28,184
Hello, bird. You've got a fierce look
in your eye. You two been quarrelling?

755
00:44:28,208 --> 00:44:30,540
Not at all. Eh, mr bird?

756
00:44:30,625 --> 00:44:33,116
Certainly not. Just a little argument.

757
00:44:36,583 --> 00:44:38,039
I tell you, mr bird,

758
00:44:38,125 --> 00:44:41,197
I am very grateful for this way
you talk to sir Robert Kyle.

759
00:44:41,292 --> 00:44:44,705
To everyone who come here I say it is
very nice to have them staying with us,

760
00:44:44,792 --> 00:44:46,623
but that is one big lie.

761
00:44:46,708 --> 00:44:49,541
But with you is honest truth, mr bird.

762
00:44:49,625 --> 00:44:52,583
And all of the time you remind me
of my dear brother.

763
00:44:52,667 --> 00:44:55,500
- There's something about you, mr bird.
- Really?

764
00:44:55,583 --> 00:44:57,949
And where is your brother now,
mr gambini?

765
00:44:58,042 --> 00:44:59,703
He's dead, my brother.

766
00:45:04,167 --> 00:45:06,249
- Get wet this afternoon?
- A bit.

767
00:45:07,042 --> 00:45:08,703
Me and Daisy got properly soaked.

768
00:45:09,500 --> 00:45:11,456
Got a nice bit of news for you,
Georgie boy.

769
00:45:11,542 --> 00:45:13,954
It all comes of trusting a bloke
with a mug like mine.

770
00:45:14,042 --> 00:45:15,893
I couldn't get us tens on that horse,
I got eights.

771
00:45:15,917 --> 00:45:18,624
She romped home. Left 'em
standing like I was told she would.

772
00:45:18,708 --> 00:45:20,448
Your share's 400 quid.

773
00:45:22,250 --> 00:45:24,036
400 quid?

774
00:45:24,125 --> 00:45:25,309
You'll have it in the morning, old son.

775
00:45:25,333 --> 00:45:28,655
But that's no reason why we don't
celebrate tonight. See you in the bar, eh?

776
00:45:31,708 --> 00:45:34,245
I'm holding up the dinner, sir,
because they're all in the bar,

777
00:45:34,333 --> 00:45:36,540
which is like klondike
in the gold rush this night.

778
00:45:36,625 --> 00:45:39,742
Some nights they all drink like fishes.
Other nights nobody drinks.

779
00:45:39,833 --> 00:45:42,700
And why this should be,
I cannot tell and you cannot tell.

780
00:45:42,792 --> 00:45:46,535
This'll be a great night for getting rid
of a few portions of the old game pie,

781
00:45:46,625 --> 00:45:49,583
which has been weighing upon us
like the sorrows of the world.

782
00:45:49,667 --> 00:45:52,534
My friend, of some things
it is better not to speak.

783
00:45:52,625 --> 00:45:56,197
I shall eat a little soup
and cold chicken in my room

784
00:45:56,292 --> 00:45:58,999
and try to listen to
la scala di Milano on the radio.

785
00:46:06,667 --> 00:46:07,998
Come on, everybody, drink up!

786
00:46:08,083 --> 00:46:09,243
Laugh and be happy!

787
00:46:09,333 --> 00:46:11,119
This is my lucky day and you're all in it.

788
00:46:12,333 --> 00:46:14,289
Him and his lucky days.

789
00:46:14,375 --> 00:46:16,536
And these are ten Bob a time too, George.

790
00:46:16,625 --> 00:46:18,581
They're not worth it, Daisy.

791
00:46:22,917 --> 00:46:25,374
Your friend bird keeps
giving you some queer looks.

792
00:46:25,458 --> 00:46:27,369
Can't understand how
he takes everybody in.

793
00:46:27,458 --> 00:46:29,699
Can't you? I think he's rather sweet.

794
00:46:29,792 --> 00:46:32,454
Probably won a few hundreds
in a football pool

795
00:46:32,542 --> 00:46:35,409
and everybody thinks he's somebody
mysterious and wonderful.

796
00:46:35,500 --> 00:46:39,038
- Eh, Sheila?
- I don't know and I don't care.

797
00:46:39,125 --> 00:46:41,787
I'm worried about Derek. Excuse me.

798
00:46:45,375 --> 00:46:47,582
I'm sorry, sir, but don't forget
the pinebourne club.

799
00:46:47,667 --> 00:46:49,707
Oh, ring up and tell 'em
I'll be a few minutes late.

800
00:46:49,750 --> 00:46:51,661
Delayed by urgent business.

801
00:46:51,750 --> 00:46:53,286
Never does any harm, eh, sir Robert?

802
00:46:53,375 --> 00:46:56,447
No, not when they won't vote for you
anyway and they won't, you know.

803
00:46:56,542 --> 00:46:59,454
My husband, sir Herbert,
always said champagne cocktails

804
00:46:59,542 --> 00:47:00,907
did you more harm than good.

805
00:47:01,000 --> 00:47:02,490
Nonsense!

806
00:47:02,583 --> 00:47:04,289
What did you say?!

807
00:47:04,375 --> 00:47:08,072
I said nonsense, lady os... oswington.

808
00:47:08,167 --> 00:47:10,249
Absolute nonsense.

809
00:47:15,167 --> 00:47:17,408
Oi, chum, join in. Don't be shy!

810
00:47:17,500 --> 00:47:19,582
Try one of these.

811
00:47:19,667 --> 00:47:21,407
Oh, right-oh, chum.

812
00:47:21,500 --> 00:47:23,206
- Cheers.
- Cheers.

813
00:47:33,875 --> 00:47:35,831
Enjoying yourself, George?

814
00:47:35,917 --> 00:47:38,829
No, can't really say I am, Daisy.

815
00:47:38,917 --> 00:47:41,033
And it's about time I started.

816
00:47:41,708 --> 00:47:43,573
Joe'll want you to play poker tonight.

817
00:47:43,667 --> 00:47:45,453
Always does, the old piecan.

818
00:47:45,542 --> 00:47:48,454
And you'll have to play too, George,
or Joe'll be put out.

819
00:47:49,250 --> 00:47:50,250
Cards.

820
00:47:51,250 --> 00:47:53,866
I'll have three cards, please.

821
00:47:53,958 --> 00:47:56,415
- One, two, three.
- Thank you.

822
00:47:58,083 --> 00:48:01,325
- One.
- One for you, two for me.

823
00:48:07,125 --> 00:48:09,207
I'll check the bet.

824
00:48:12,667 --> 00:48:13,782
Ten.

825
00:48:15,958 --> 00:48:18,574
All right, Georgie. Ten, and another ten.

826
00:48:19,708 --> 00:48:21,369
Mmm. I'm away.

827
00:48:21,458 --> 00:48:22,994
Ten...

828
00:48:23,083 --> 00:48:25,119
And 20 more.

829
00:48:26,083 --> 00:48:27,323
Ooh.

830
00:48:29,375 --> 00:48:30,865
Well...

831
00:48:32,792 --> 00:48:35,033
All right, Georgie, what have you got?

832
00:48:38,875 --> 00:48:41,287
- Heavens! A royal flush!
- Oh, dear.

833
00:48:41,375 --> 00:48:44,037
Look at that, I had a bloody full house.

834
00:48:44,125 --> 00:48:46,018
All right, gents, that's penalties.
Another two pound each.

835
00:48:46,042 --> 00:48:48,624
- Another two pounds.
- You're a very lucky man, mr bird.

836
00:48:48,708 --> 00:48:50,628
Yeah, it's your lucky day.
How do you do it, boy?

837
00:48:51,458 --> 00:48:54,040
I don't know, Joe. I just don't know.

838
00:48:55,750 --> 00:48:57,661
- Must we go on?
- Of course we must. Eh, boys?

839
00:48:57,750 --> 00:48:59,661
Can't stop when you're winning,
bird, old boy.

840
00:48:59,750 --> 00:49:01,911
- All right. Whose deal is it?
- My deal.

841
00:49:02,000 --> 00:49:04,332
You'll have to get
a wheelbarrow for this lot.

842
00:49:19,500 --> 00:49:22,116
I'm sorry, Sheila.
It's just as bad as it can be.

843
00:49:22,208 --> 00:49:23,789
We've had it.

844
00:49:23,875 --> 00:49:25,365
What do you mean? What's happened?

845
00:49:25,458 --> 00:49:28,165
Something's gone wrong.
There's been a leak somewhere.

846
00:49:28,250 --> 00:49:31,162
Binney's in a flap. Says our only
chance is for him to clear out.

847
00:49:31,250 --> 00:49:32,740
He's broke too, and...

848
00:49:33,833 --> 00:49:35,573
Hold it. We've got company.

849
00:49:40,917 --> 00:49:42,373
- Mr rockingham?
- That's me.

850
00:49:42,458 --> 00:49:45,245
But I've had a long day
and I don't feel like a cheery chat.

851
00:49:45,333 --> 00:49:47,915
I'll try not to keep it too long.
Just a few questions.

852
00:49:48,833 --> 00:49:50,369
Perhaps you'd like to leave us.

853
00:49:50,458 --> 00:49:52,073
I'd rather not, if you don't mind.

854
00:49:59,458 --> 00:50:01,619
Mr rockingham,
yesterday you were in Paris.

855
00:50:01,708 --> 00:50:03,164
I was.

856
00:50:03,250 --> 00:50:06,367
Last week, on the 9th to be exact,
you were in Brussels.

857
00:50:06,458 --> 00:50:08,494
On the 3rd, you crossed to the hook.

858
00:50:08,583 --> 00:50:10,915
A few days before that
you were also in Paris.

859
00:50:11,000 --> 00:50:12,080
I daresay.

860
00:50:12,167 --> 00:50:15,534
Not quite sure about the dates,
but that's more or less right, I imagine.

861
00:50:15,625 --> 00:50:19,322
- Fond of travel, aren't you?
- No. Not this kind, anyhow.

862
00:50:19,417 --> 00:50:21,703
But you see, inspector, I need a job.

863
00:50:21,792 --> 00:50:23,202
I see.

864
00:50:23,292 --> 00:50:24,907
Know a man called binney?

865
00:50:26,000 --> 00:50:28,787
Yes, slightly. Used to run into him
here and there.

866
00:50:28,875 --> 00:50:29,910
Not lately, though.

867
00:50:30,000 --> 00:50:32,207
- Not lately, eh?
- That's what I said.

868
00:50:32,292 --> 00:50:34,476
What I say is that you were having
a drink with him this afternoon

869
00:50:34,500 --> 00:50:36,786
at a quarter to three
in the regent bar.

870
00:50:36,875 --> 00:50:39,116
Well, what if I was?

871
00:50:39,208 --> 00:50:41,995
- Derek.
- It's all right, mrs rockingham.

872
00:50:42,083 --> 00:50:44,950
While your husband's thinking it over
I'll talk to you.

873
00:50:45,042 --> 00:50:47,268
We believe that binney
and one or two others have started

874
00:50:47,292 --> 00:50:49,032
a currency smuggling racket.

875
00:50:49,125 --> 00:50:51,832
It looks as if your husband's
been giving them some help.

876
00:50:51,917 --> 00:50:53,999
And don't imagine this currency smuggling

877
00:50:54,083 --> 00:50:56,643
is like trying to slip a few pairs
of stockings past the customs.

878
00:50:56,708 --> 00:50:59,074
It's not. It's a dirty game.

879
00:50:59,167 --> 00:51:01,624
Talk to me.
My wife knows nothing about this.

880
00:51:01,708 --> 00:51:03,289
There is something to know then?

881
00:51:06,208 --> 00:51:08,244
Look, you've got a first-class war record.

882
00:51:08,333 --> 00:51:09,413
You can leave that out.

883
00:51:09,500 --> 00:51:11,726
They seem to, anyhow, when
the jobs are going. Don't forget that.

884
00:51:11,750 --> 00:51:12,865
I've got a job.

885
00:51:12,958 --> 00:51:16,997
Supposed to be good where I come from
and it took me 15 years to work up to it.

886
00:51:17,083 --> 00:51:20,123
But I couldn't afford to have a whisky
and soda and sandwiches in this hotel.

887
00:51:20,208 --> 00:51:21,208
I can't either.

888
00:51:21,292 --> 00:51:23,829
No, and I don't think that's so funny
because I know you can't.

889
00:51:24,583 --> 00:51:27,450
But I'd rather go and dig ditches
than do what you're doing,

890
00:51:27,542 --> 00:51:31,160
trying to make easy money
stooging for rats like binney.

891
00:51:35,958 --> 00:51:37,038
Like to tell me anything?

892
00:51:41,083 --> 00:51:43,324
All right. I'll see you in the morning.

893
00:51:44,583 --> 00:51:45,868
Think it over.

894
00:51:45,958 --> 00:51:48,950
- Goodnight, mrs rockingham.
- Goodnight.

895
00:51:54,417 --> 00:51:55,702
Derek, how could you?

896
00:51:55,792 --> 00:51:58,408
I know. I've been a stupid ape.
But there's no time for all that.

897
00:51:59,417 --> 00:52:02,159
If only I could find a way of paying
the bill, we'd leave right now.

898
00:52:02,250 --> 00:52:05,117
- If I get 100 quid to binney by morning...
- Oh, if, if, if!

899
00:52:05,208 --> 00:52:06,823
What's the good of talking that way?

900
00:52:06,917 --> 00:52:09,329
Isn't there anybody here
who would give us a break?

901
00:52:09,417 --> 00:52:11,123
If there isn't, I'm for it.

902
00:52:12,125 --> 00:52:14,184
I must phone a fellow
and let him know what's happening.

903
00:52:14,208 --> 00:52:15,914
May take time though.

904
00:52:16,000 --> 00:52:17,115
Going upstairs?

905
00:52:17,208 --> 00:52:18,789
No, I couldn't.

906
00:52:18,875 --> 00:52:20,740
I'm going outside. I must think.

907
00:52:21,792 --> 00:52:24,078
- Goodnight. Thanks for the game.
- Goodnight.

908
00:52:24,167 --> 00:52:25,623
- Goodnight.
- Goodnight, sir.

909
00:52:25,708 --> 00:52:26,948
Goodnight, mrs Clarence.

910
00:52:27,042 --> 00:52:29,283
Oh, dear. Oh, dear. Goodnight.

911
00:52:29,375 --> 00:52:31,536
Sleep well!

912
00:52:35,667 --> 00:52:38,033
Ooh, there's a nice little packet,
isn't it?

913
00:52:41,333 --> 00:52:43,870
Listen, George, old cock,
I'd like to talk some business.

914
00:52:44,875 --> 00:52:46,581
Now, look...

915
00:52:46,667 --> 00:52:49,864
I've got six fish restaurants, three
fun arcades and two holiday camps

916
00:52:49,958 --> 00:52:51,243
and I'm starting two more.

917
00:52:51,333 --> 00:52:54,746
Why don't you come in with me, Georgie?
You and me could get on.

918
00:52:54,833 --> 00:52:56,934
You're one of those lucky boys.
I spotted it right off.

919
00:52:56,958 --> 00:53:00,030
You don't have to put any money up,
but you can if you like.

920
00:53:01,542 --> 00:53:02,782
Thanks, Joe...

921
00:53:03,708 --> 00:53:05,073
But it's no use.

922
00:53:07,958 --> 00:53:09,414
I have to go away soon.

923
00:53:10,125 --> 00:53:11,490
Must you go?

924
00:53:11,583 --> 00:53:13,744
- Looks like it.
- Long way?

925
00:53:16,500 --> 00:53:18,115
A long way, Joe.

926
00:53:24,167 --> 00:53:27,034
And I'm sorry,
but I shan't be coming back.

927
00:53:33,875 --> 00:53:35,490
What's the matter, old son?

928
00:53:45,792 --> 00:53:46,907
Nothing.

929
00:53:49,042 --> 00:53:50,953
Feel a bit muzzy.

930
00:53:51,042 --> 00:53:53,579
I'll go outside and get some fresh air.

931
00:53:58,250 --> 00:54:00,616
- Goodnight, Georgie.
- Goodnight, Daisy.

932
00:54:01,750 --> 00:54:03,286
Thanks for the game.

933
00:54:44,583 --> 00:54:46,539
- Oh, it's you.
- Yes, it's me.

934
00:54:47,583 --> 00:54:49,494
It would have to be you, wouldn't it?

935
00:54:50,500 --> 00:54:52,115
Needn't be.

936
00:54:52,208 --> 00:54:54,039
I can go.

937
00:54:54,125 --> 00:54:56,537
No, I didn't mean it like that.

938
00:54:56,625 --> 00:54:59,082
You're the one person here
who would probably help us.

939
00:55:00,042 --> 00:55:01,498
We're in a terrible mess.

940
00:55:02,500 --> 00:55:04,240
But after the way
I behaved this afternoon,

941
00:55:04,333 --> 00:55:06,369
you're the one person
I feel I oughtn't to ask.

942
00:55:06,458 --> 00:55:07,994
I don't agree.

943
00:55:08,083 --> 00:55:09,994
I gave you some advice, unasked for,

944
00:55:10,083 --> 00:55:13,246
and people who give advice should
be prepared to give some help too.

945
00:55:13,333 --> 00:55:14,789
What do I do?

946
00:55:17,083 --> 00:55:18,994
Derek needs about £100.

947
00:55:19,083 --> 00:55:21,244
At once, it's desperately urgent.

948
00:55:21,333 --> 00:55:23,449
Then we must pay our bill here.

949
00:55:31,125 --> 00:55:32,990
There's about a hundred here.

950
00:55:34,250 --> 00:55:36,832
I'll look after the bill in the morning.

951
00:55:36,917 --> 00:55:39,283
- But can you...
- Yes, I can.

952
00:55:44,042 --> 00:55:47,239
I must have known from the first
somehow you were going to save us.

953
00:55:47,333 --> 00:55:49,164
There was always something about you.

954
00:55:49,250 --> 00:55:51,206
Yes, but it's urgent.

955
00:55:51,292 --> 00:55:53,374
Rockingham. Derek rockingham.

956
00:55:54,708 --> 00:55:56,164
Oh, very well!

957
00:56:02,667 --> 00:56:03,952
Derek!

958
00:56:04,042 --> 00:56:06,328
Darling, it's all right.
Our troubles are over.

959
00:56:06,417 --> 00:56:08,078
George has just lent us the money.

960
00:56:08,167 --> 00:56:09,998
And he'll pay our hotel bill tomorrow.

961
00:56:10,083 --> 00:56:12,074
My dear chap, this is terrific.

962
00:56:12,167 --> 00:56:13,953
Are you sure you can spare it?

963
00:56:14,042 --> 00:56:15,828
God knows when I'll be
able to pay you back.

964
00:56:15,917 --> 00:56:17,703
I'm not expecting to be paid back.

965
00:56:17,792 --> 00:56:20,408
Oh, no, I say, this is
one time when I really...

966
00:56:20,500 --> 00:56:21,865
Well...

967
00:56:21,958 --> 00:56:24,745
I mean, you have to find a man
to pay him back.

968
00:56:27,750 --> 00:56:30,241
And I'll be hard to find.
Goodnight. Good luck.

969
00:56:31,292 --> 00:56:33,908
Oh, but...
What about a drink or something?

970
00:56:34,000 --> 00:56:35,080
No, thanks.

971
00:56:35,167 --> 00:56:36,247
Goodnight.

972
00:56:38,542 --> 00:56:39,873
Rum bloke.

973
00:56:41,583 --> 00:56:42,993
Darling, you're shivering.

974
00:56:44,500 --> 00:56:45,660
Let's go in.

975
00:56:57,292 --> 00:56:59,624
Thought you'd still be playing poker.

976
00:57:02,208 --> 00:57:04,290
Winning too, weren't you?

977
00:57:04,375 --> 00:57:05,455
How do you know?

978
00:57:06,333 --> 00:57:07,948
Well, the waiter who brought your drinks

979
00:57:08,042 --> 00:57:10,328
wasn't exactly blind,
deaf and dumb, you know.

980
00:57:10,417 --> 00:57:12,282
What'd you do with the winnings?

981
00:57:12,375 --> 00:57:13,865
Give them away?

982
00:57:18,833 --> 00:57:20,039
Yes.

983
00:57:20,125 --> 00:57:21,490
Sheila rockingham.

984
00:57:21,583 --> 00:57:23,539
I'll bet she wheedled them out of you.

985
00:57:24,958 --> 00:57:27,370
Have you got to be so hard all the time?

986
00:57:27,458 --> 00:57:31,121
Yes, and don't start pawing me about
just because you've had a few drinks.

987
00:57:35,042 --> 00:57:36,532
It wasn't like that.

988
00:57:40,500 --> 00:57:43,572
I can see now you're the sort of woman
a chap would like to take hold of,

989
00:57:43,667 --> 00:57:45,373
but it wasn't like that.

990
00:57:46,750 --> 00:57:48,490
What was it like then?

991
00:57:50,542 --> 00:57:51,702
It's late.

992
00:57:54,458 --> 00:57:56,119
I feel miserable.

993
00:57:57,750 --> 00:57:59,331
Not close to anyone.

994
00:58:00,750 --> 00:58:03,241
On my own, if you know what I mean.

995
00:58:03,333 --> 00:58:05,699
Oh, no, I wouldn't know what you meant.

996
00:58:05,792 --> 00:58:08,329
And I suddenly thought
you were the one I knew best.

997
00:58:09,167 --> 00:58:11,374
Well, I'm sorry I spoke like that to you.

998
00:58:13,125 --> 00:58:14,615
It's all right.

999
00:58:14,708 --> 00:58:15,948
No, it isn't all right.

1000
00:58:16,042 --> 00:58:19,205
And nothing's all right about you,
churning my feelings up like this.

1001
00:58:19,292 --> 00:58:22,364
Why don't you get away from here?
Go away and make yourself into something.

1002
00:58:24,042 --> 00:58:27,614
Because I don't know how to make myself
into something in the graveyard.

1003
00:58:45,917 --> 00:58:47,748
You aren't leaving, are you?

1004
00:58:47,833 --> 00:58:50,165
Yes. At least I think so.

1005
00:58:50,250 --> 00:58:52,866
- Well, nobody told me.
- I haven't told anybody yet.

1006
00:58:52,958 --> 00:58:54,368
Going home?

1007
00:58:54,458 --> 00:58:55,743
No.

1008
00:58:55,833 --> 00:58:58,370
- Going to some other hotel?
- I don't know.

1009
00:58:59,333 --> 00:59:02,575
- What are the other hotels here?
- The biggest is the grand.

1010
00:59:03,625 --> 00:59:04,625
Posh?

1011
00:59:04,667 --> 00:59:06,783
Posh-ish. Much bigger than this.

1012
00:59:06,875 --> 00:59:08,115
Dancing there.

1013
00:59:09,083 --> 00:59:11,665
Well, I'll go and see
what they can do for me.

1014
00:59:11,750 --> 00:59:14,036
Now you pop off, Maggie.

1015
00:59:15,833 --> 00:59:17,915
What's the matter with everybody
this morning?

1016
00:59:18,000 --> 00:59:19,456
All creating.

1017
00:59:19,542 --> 00:59:23,831
That miss fox crying because
lady whosit's gone and sacked her.

1018
00:59:23,917 --> 00:59:25,999
Fair old stinker.

1019
00:59:27,042 --> 00:59:30,580
Maggie, ask miss fox if she could
come and have a word with me here.

1020
00:59:30,667 --> 00:59:31,907
Okey-dokey.

1021
00:59:52,667 --> 00:59:54,578
Come in.

1022
00:59:57,000 --> 01:00:00,288
- Oh, mr bird, it's so good of you.
- Ihaven't done anything yet.

1023
01:00:03,667 --> 01:00:06,374
Miss fox, is it true
lady oswington's dismissed you?

1024
01:00:06,458 --> 01:00:09,370
After five years
as her companion, mr bird.

1025
01:00:09,458 --> 01:00:11,619
It was all so sudden and so...

1026
01:00:11,708 --> 01:00:13,369
So... so brutal.

1027
01:00:13,458 --> 01:00:15,073
Just because of last night.

1028
01:00:16,792 --> 01:00:19,078
What will you do now, miss fox?

1029
01:00:19,167 --> 01:00:21,123
I don't know, I'm sure, mr bird.

1030
01:00:21,208 --> 01:00:23,665
What would you like to do,
if you could do it?

1031
01:00:24,500 --> 01:00:27,333
Sometimes my cousin and I have talked
about opening a little gift shop.

1032
01:00:28,208 --> 01:00:30,449
Gifte shoppe, I think we'd call it.

1033
01:00:30,542 --> 01:00:32,954
You know, just a quaint,
friendly little place.

1034
01:00:33,042 --> 01:00:36,000
But though she has
a little money of her own,

1035
01:00:36,083 --> 01:00:37,698
I'm afraid I haven't any.

1036
01:00:37,792 --> 01:00:39,999
How much would you want to start it?

1037
01:00:40,083 --> 01:00:41,789
Oh, a lot, mr bird.

1038
01:00:41,875 --> 01:00:43,490
Two hundred pounds.

1039
01:00:43,583 --> 01:00:45,448
I'll give you two hundred pounds.

1040
01:00:45,542 --> 01:00:47,749
Oh, no, mr bird. You're very kind, but...

1041
01:00:47,833 --> 01:00:49,118
I really couldn't accept such...

1042
01:00:49,208 --> 01:00:50,573
I'll lend it to you then.

1043
01:00:50,667 --> 01:00:53,374
You can pay it back sometime,
though it doesn't matter.

1044
01:00:53,458 --> 01:00:55,744
Oh, mr bird, but could you really?

1045
01:00:55,833 --> 01:00:58,199
Miss fox! Miss fox!

1046
01:00:58,292 --> 01:01:00,157
This is your chance. Take it.

1047
01:01:01,417 --> 01:01:02,577
Miss fox, where are you?

1048
01:01:02,667 --> 01:01:05,409
Don't answer. Or tell her to go to blazes.

1049
01:01:05,500 --> 01:01:07,832
Miss fox, where are you?

1050
01:01:07,917 --> 01:01:09,578
I'm here, lady oswington.

1051
01:01:13,875 --> 01:01:18,039
Miss fox, just this once
I'll overlook your 'orrible behaviour.

1052
01:01:18,125 --> 01:01:20,958
- Oh, thank you, lady oswington.
- But never again, mind.

1053
01:01:21,042 --> 01:01:23,033
Oh, yes, lady oswington.
I quite understand.

1054
01:01:23,125 --> 01:01:25,116
Well, I don't. I'd rather have anything,

1055
01:01:25,208 --> 01:01:26,664
even a gifte shoppe.

1056
01:01:26,750 --> 01:01:29,822
I wasn't aware that anybody asked
for your opinion, mr bird.

1057
01:01:29,917 --> 01:01:32,875
Come along, miss fox. I don't know
what sir Herbert would have thought.

1058
01:01:32,958 --> 01:01:35,601
I'd better ask sir Herbert when I see him.

1059
01:01:35,625 --> 01:01:37,536
It shouldn't be long now.

1060
01:01:51,917 --> 01:01:53,578
Oi! Anybody there?

1061
01:01:53,667 --> 01:01:55,157
You're wasting your breath, chum.

1062
01:01:55,250 --> 01:01:56,850
- I pulled 'em all out.
- Pulled who out?

1063
01:01:56,875 --> 01:01:59,867
Cooks, waiters, chambermaids,
receptionists. The whole issue. On strike.

1064
01:01:59,958 --> 01:02:01,243
Got a light?

1065
01:02:01,333 --> 01:02:02,948
Yes, they're all out. Neat job.

1066
01:02:03,042 --> 01:02:05,562
Came down from amalgamated unions
yesterday, pulled them all out

1067
01:02:05,625 --> 01:02:07,768
and now you couldn't get
a glass of hot water anywhere.

1068
01:02:07,792 --> 01:02:09,999
- You staying in pinebourne?
- I'm at the regal.

1069
01:02:10,083 --> 01:02:12,574
- Thought of coming here.
- Regal, eh?

1070
01:02:12,667 --> 01:02:14,123
I'm pulling them out after tea.

1071
01:02:14,208 --> 01:02:15,618
Twelve-hour sympathetic strike.

1072
01:02:15,708 --> 01:02:17,476
You won't get a sausage
anywhere tonight, chum.

1073
01:02:17,500 --> 01:02:19,331
Well, I'm a busy man. Cheerio.

1074
01:02:19,417 --> 01:02:20,417
Cheerio.

1075
01:02:23,667 --> 01:02:27,034
I've just left a 15-stone woman
who'll get no food for the next 24 hours.

1076
01:02:27,125 --> 01:02:29,116
That'll do her more good than I can.

1077
01:02:29,208 --> 01:02:30,976
Can I give you a lift?
I've got a car outside.

1078
01:02:31,000 --> 01:02:32,206
Oh, thanks very much.

1079
01:02:33,208 --> 01:02:35,995
- Tried to golf here yet?
- No, I don't play golf.

1080
01:02:36,083 --> 01:02:38,165
You don't, eh? What do you do then?

1081
01:02:38,250 --> 01:02:40,366
Oh, just live for pleasure.

1082
01:02:40,458 --> 01:02:42,540
I hope you don't mind me
asking you, doctor,

1083
01:02:42,625 --> 01:02:45,241
but can you tell me anything
about lampington's disease?

1084
01:02:45,333 --> 01:02:48,575
Shouldn't have thought you'd heard
of that. Very rare, you know.

1085
01:02:48,667 --> 01:02:51,033
Of course,
old Trevor lampington's still alive,

1086
01:02:51,125 --> 01:02:53,207
but you don't hear
very much about him these days.

1087
01:02:53,292 --> 01:02:56,159
Lampington. Sir Trevor lampington.

1088
01:02:56,250 --> 01:02:57,911
Oh, yes, sir Trevor. We're expecting you.

1089
01:02:58,000 --> 01:02:59,956
If you wouldn't mind signing the register.

1090
01:03:00,042 --> 01:03:01,703
Page, room 10.

1091
01:03:01,792 --> 01:03:04,499
I'm here to spend the night
with my old friend sir Robert Kyle.

1092
01:03:04,583 --> 01:03:06,164
Really, sir Trevor? Thank you.

1093
01:03:06,958 --> 01:03:09,119
Mmm. Quite a handsome young woman.

1094
01:03:09,917 --> 01:03:11,032
Thank you, sir Trevor.

1095
01:03:11,125 --> 01:03:13,161
But you'll have to watch those kidneys.

1096
01:03:14,917 --> 01:03:17,784
Sir Trevor, it's a very great pleasure
to have you staying with us.

1097
01:03:17,875 --> 01:03:19,206
Indeed? Who are you?

1098
01:03:19,292 --> 01:03:21,203
I'm gambini, the manager of this hotel.

1099
01:03:21,292 --> 01:03:22,953
Sir Robert has told me of you

1100
01:03:23,042 --> 01:03:26,114
and I arranged to make for you tonight
a very special, nice dinner.

1101
01:03:26,208 --> 01:03:27,539
Oh? What would that be?

1102
01:03:27,625 --> 01:03:31,538
Some nice hors d'oeuvres,
a little smoked salmon, some hot lobster.

1103
01:03:31,625 --> 01:03:32,625
Poison!

1104
01:03:32,708 --> 01:03:36,701
All you will make for me would be a very
special, nice bowl of bread and milk.

1105
01:03:37,625 --> 01:03:38,625
Oj!

1106
01:03:41,583 --> 01:03:44,559
I'm just warning you, chum. If you give
him this special, nice dinner tonight,

1107
01:03:44,583 --> 01:03:46,143
you'll have to cook it
and serve it yourself.

1108
01:03:46,167 --> 01:03:48,158
I don't know you. I don't talk to you.

1109
01:03:53,292 --> 01:03:54,577
Union member?

1110
01:03:54,667 --> 01:03:55,702
Yes.

1111
01:03:55,792 --> 01:03:58,864
Twelve-hour sympathetic strike.
Starts at five this afternoon.

1112
01:03:58,958 --> 01:04:01,601
You pass the word around the rest of you
in front and I'll go round the kitchens.

1113
01:04:01,625 --> 01:04:02,956
I'm pulling everybody out.

1114
01:04:03,042 --> 01:04:05,579
All right, Napoleon, when do we take Asia?

1115
01:04:12,208 --> 01:04:13,744
Mrs rockingham.

1116
01:04:16,125 --> 01:04:19,242
Oh, bless you for this.
You'll never know what it means to me.

1117
01:04:20,250 --> 01:04:22,286
I couldn't sleep a wink last night.

1118
01:04:28,708 --> 01:04:31,165
- What are you doing?
- I've stopped it.

1119
01:04:31,250 --> 01:04:33,411
Just to talk to you quietly for a minute.

1120
01:04:34,167 --> 01:04:35,809
You see, I couldn't thank you
properly last night.

1121
01:04:35,833 --> 01:04:38,495
- Oh, that's all right.
- No, it isn't.

1122
01:04:38,583 --> 01:04:40,414
I've been a pig.

1123
01:04:40,500 --> 01:04:42,081
And you're heaven.

1124
01:04:48,500 --> 01:04:50,866
Ringing for the lift?

1125
01:04:50,958 --> 01:04:53,184
- Looks like it, doesn't it?
- Haven't seen mr bird anywhere, have you?

1126
01:04:53,208 --> 01:04:55,101
I haven't seen bird,
and I don't want to see bird.

1127
01:04:55,125 --> 01:04:58,083
I'm tired of all this fuss
you people are making about bird.

1128
01:04:59,333 --> 01:05:01,699
I'm so sorry. I can't think
what can have happened.

1129
01:05:01,792 --> 01:05:04,124
Not very efficient, is it,
for a place of this kind?

1130
01:05:04,208 --> 01:05:07,405
Some of us are still busy men, even
if we are supposed to be recuperating.

1131
01:05:07,500 --> 01:05:10,572
And some of us have to keep on
being busy even without recuperating.

1132
01:05:10,667 --> 01:05:12,453
Oh, it's coming up now.

1133
01:05:16,292 --> 01:05:17,998
Ah, mr bird!

1134
01:05:18,083 --> 01:05:20,415
See you later. In a hurry now.

1135
01:05:20,500 --> 01:05:23,742
Mr bird, you were complaining
about your window rattling.

1136
01:05:23,833 --> 01:05:25,949
- Oh, was I?
- So I understood.

1137
01:05:26,042 --> 01:05:27,782
And I've brought you some wedges.

1138
01:05:30,042 --> 01:05:31,657
This afternoon then?

1139
01:05:37,292 --> 01:05:39,533
- What's all this about the window?
- Oh, shut up.

1140
01:05:39,625 --> 01:05:42,665
I must have an excuse to talk to you,
and the laundress is in the linen room.

1141
01:05:43,458 --> 01:05:46,825
Well, mr bird, I'm afraid there's only
one thing I can do about these windows

1142
01:05:46,917 --> 01:05:49,374
and that's to wedge them,
so I've brought some wedges.

1143
01:05:49,458 --> 01:05:50,868
I see.

1144
01:05:50,958 --> 01:05:52,744
Thanks very much, mrs poole.

1145
01:05:52,833 --> 01:05:55,620
I wanted to give you a chance to
explain what you said last night.

1146
01:05:55,708 --> 01:05:57,619
You upset me terribly.

1147
01:05:57,708 --> 01:06:00,245
- I didn't sleep a wink.
- Sorry. I...

1148
01:06:01,417 --> 01:06:03,078
I wouldn't take any notice of that.

1149
01:06:03,167 --> 01:06:05,909
I didn't mean to be angry with you.
I'm so sorry.

1150
01:06:06,000 --> 01:06:08,036
But there was no need
to talk about graveyards.

1151
01:06:08,125 --> 01:06:10,912
Don't take any notice of that.
I just got carried away.

1152
01:06:11,000 --> 01:06:13,491
Well, I think that's better.
Don't you, mr bird?

1153
01:06:13,583 --> 01:06:18,122
What? Oh, I think so, mrs poole,
so long as it doesn't rattle, of course.

1154
01:06:18,208 --> 01:06:20,039
I don't understand you.

1155
01:06:20,125 --> 01:06:21,786
What is the matter with you?

1156
01:06:22,625 --> 01:06:24,786
I'll tell you what's the matter with me.

1157
01:06:24,875 --> 01:06:27,036
For years... years...

1158
01:06:27,125 --> 01:06:29,559
Nothing happened. I couldn't get anywhere.
Then I come here...

1159
01:06:29,583 --> 01:06:31,790
Win £400 on a horse I've never heard of,

1160
01:06:31,875 --> 01:06:34,912
win over a hundred at poker,
get offered big, fancy jobs,

1161
01:06:35,000 --> 01:06:37,537
shares in subsoilers, run holiday camps,

1162
01:06:37,625 --> 01:06:39,518
- and none of it's any good to me.
- Oh, shh, be quiet.

1163
01:06:39,542 --> 01:06:40,893
And when I try to tell somebody about it,

1164
01:06:40,917 --> 01:06:42,657
I have to pretend
that a window's rattling.

1165
01:06:42,750 --> 01:06:45,332
No, please, be quiet.
Look, I've got the afternoon off

1166
01:06:45,417 --> 01:06:48,079
and we could go out together
and you can tell me properly.

1167
01:06:48,792 --> 01:06:50,498
I can't this afternoon.

1168
01:06:50,583 --> 01:06:52,369
I promised to go a walk.

1169
01:06:52,458 --> 01:06:54,198
With that rockingham girl?

1170
01:06:54,292 --> 01:06:55,327
Yes.

1171
01:06:56,167 --> 01:06:58,499
Then you're even sillier
than I thought you were.

1172
01:06:58,583 --> 01:07:02,246
Now, mr bird, that ought to be all right.

1173
01:07:24,292 --> 01:07:25,327
Waiter!

1174
01:07:27,042 --> 01:07:28,623
I'll have another cake.

1175
01:07:29,958 --> 01:07:31,539
Have 'em all, ma'am.

1176
01:07:51,750 --> 01:07:53,035
Waiter. Waiter!

1177
01:07:53,125 --> 01:07:54,410
Waiter. Waiter!

1178
01:07:54,500 --> 01:07:55,580
W-w-waiter.

1179
01:07:56,667 --> 01:07:57,747
Waiter?

1180
01:07:59,542 --> 01:08:02,204
I want somebody to help
Williamson with his plan

1181
01:08:02,292 --> 01:08:04,059
for the national agricultural
machinery board.

1182
01:08:04,083 --> 01:08:05,243
- You do?
- I do.

1183
01:08:05,333 --> 01:08:07,073
Unless I can find someone at once,

1184
01:08:07,167 --> 01:08:10,239
pennington will push one of his
backroom boys in, as usual.

1185
01:08:10,333 --> 01:08:12,415
- And we've had enough of that.
- Pennington?

1186
01:08:12,500 --> 01:08:16,823
Mm-hm. This might look good too,
promoting a practical man like yourself.

1187
01:08:17,583 --> 01:08:19,995
One of the people
who've been doing the job.

1188
01:08:20,083 --> 01:08:20,913
You mean...

1189
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:25,619
I mean, I'm offering you an appointment on
the national agricultural machinery board.

1190
01:08:28,583 --> 01:08:30,619
Sorry. Can't take it.

1191
01:08:30,708 --> 01:08:34,371
- Did you ring for some more tea, Prescott?
- Yes, minister, but I'll ring again.

1192
01:08:34,458 --> 01:08:37,165
This isn't a political appointment,
mr bird.

1193
01:08:37,250 --> 01:08:40,822
You'll notice that I haven't asked
your opinion of us as a government, eh?

1194
01:08:40,917 --> 01:08:44,114
- No, you haven't, have you?
- But I can tell you this, mr bird,

1195
01:08:44,208 --> 01:08:47,018
we're the only people who could keep
this country going at the present time.

1196
01:08:47,042 --> 01:08:49,954
If it wasn't for us and the confidence
of the people in our policy,

1197
01:08:50,042 --> 01:08:54,160
you'd have rising prices, industrial
disputes, strikes all over the place.

1198
01:08:54,250 --> 01:08:57,367
- What about that tea, Prescott?
- Oh, I've just remembered.

1199
01:08:58,583 --> 01:09:00,039
You won't get any more tea.

1200
01:09:00,125 --> 01:09:03,037
They all went on strike at five o'clock.
Excuse me.

1201
01:09:04,667 --> 01:09:05,998
Go on, speak to them.

1202
01:09:06,083 --> 01:09:07,744
Shall I? Yes.

1203
01:09:07,833 --> 01:09:11,530
Ladies and gentlemen,
mr bird will now say a few words.

1204
01:09:11,625 --> 01:09:13,081
- Mr bird.
- Bravo, bird!

1205
01:09:13,167 --> 01:09:15,123
I only wanted to say that...

1206
01:09:15,208 --> 01:09:18,226
If we've nobody to look after us tonight,
then we'd better look after ourselves.

1207
01:09:18,250 --> 01:09:19,456
Won't do us any harm.

1208
01:09:19,542 --> 01:09:21,954
So let's get together and
divide the jobs between us.

1209
01:09:22,042 --> 01:09:23,953
Good old George, I'll run the bar.

1210
01:09:24,042 --> 01:09:25,578
Oh, no, you won't. You and your bar.

1211
01:09:25,667 --> 01:09:29,410
If I get some help in the kitchen, then
tonight I, gambini, will cook the dinner.

1212
01:09:29,500 --> 01:09:30,740
There you are. It's all fixed.

1213
01:09:30,833 --> 01:09:32,698
Then I put it into casserole.

1214
01:09:33,667 --> 01:09:36,249
Put in the onions and fry the bacon.

1215
01:09:37,458 --> 01:09:39,699
Some... herbs.

1216
01:09:41,583 --> 01:09:42,993
Pieces of rabbit.

1217
01:09:44,167 --> 01:09:46,829
And let it simmer
three-quarters of an hour.

1218
01:09:47,833 --> 01:09:50,905
And then I put it potatoes,
two glasses of white wine.

1219
01:09:51,000 --> 01:09:53,241
Again it simmers.
Then I put in the seasoning.

1220
01:09:53,333 --> 01:09:56,200
And then lapin en gibelotte.

1221
01:09:56,292 --> 01:10:00,205
Just good cooking
and you will say it is wonderful.

1222
01:10:00,292 --> 01:10:01,998
Everybody hard at it, en?

1223
01:10:02,083 --> 01:10:04,916
Splendid. Splendid. That's the spirit, eh?

1224
01:10:07,500 --> 01:10:11,789
Yep, too many blinking knives and forks
in this caper, if you ask me.

1225
01:10:12,417 --> 01:10:14,373
All goes down the same way too, don't it?

1226
01:10:14,458 --> 01:10:16,476
Still, when you gotta lay 'em out
like this, it makes you think.

1227
01:10:16,500 --> 01:10:18,411
It's all gotta be washed up too.

1228
01:10:21,292 --> 01:10:23,704
Oh, tables being laid.
All pulling together, eh?

1229
01:10:23,792 --> 01:10:26,374
That's the spirit. Great show.
All pulling together.

1230
01:10:28,167 --> 01:10:30,533
That's right. All pulling together.

1231
01:10:30,625 --> 01:10:32,035
What's he pulling, except faces?

1232
01:10:32,125 --> 01:10:33,865
Next time I'm gonna be one of them blokes.

1233
01:10:33,958 --> 01:10:36,791
"Great show. That's the spirit! Ha-ha-ha!"

1234
01:10:36,875 --> 01:10:39,241
Terrible amount of waste labour
in this sort of thing.

1235
01:10:39,333 --> 01:10:41,813
Oughtn't to be difficult to invent
a mechanical loading device.

1236
01:10:41,875 --> 01:10:44,332
I'm sure I look nicer
than a mechanical loading device.

1237
01:10:44,417 --> 01:10:47,033
- That's enough, mr chalfont.
- Oh, I think it is.

1238
01:10:48,167 --> 01:10:49,953
Everyone in full production, bird?

1239
01:10:50,042 --> 01:10:52,002
All but a few, who will turn up
for dinner though.

1240
01:10:52,042 --> 01:10:54,374
I almost feel like kissing you again.

1241
01:10:55,792 --> 01:10:57,703
Hasn't anybody ever said that
to you before?

1242
01:10:57,792 --> 01:10:59,032
No. Never.

1243
01:10:59,125 --> 01:11:02,413
Poor darling. But why?
What have you been doing all your life?

1244
01:11:02,500 --> 01:11:04,786
I don't know. Just getting up, working,

1245
01:11:04,875 --> 01:11:07,241
reading the paper, smoking, going to bed.

1246
01:11:07,333 --> 01:11:09,415
Like millions of other chaps.
You'd be surprised.

1247
01:11:09,500 --> 01:11:11,582
I'm surprised what girls go and miss.

1248
01:11:11,667 --> 01:11:12,952
Now, that's enough.

1249
01:11:16,792 --> 01:11:18,578
Go on. Scoot.

1250
01:11:21,833 --> 01:11:22,868
Regal hotel.

1251
01:11:23,917 --> 01:11:25,532
Speak up. Don't mumble.

1252
01:11:28,292 --> 01:11:30,499
Of course we take young children.

1253
01:11:30,583 --> 01:11:32,198
What are their names?

1254
01:11:33,208 --> 01:11:36,371
Oh, but how sweet. Especially dulcibella.

1255
01:11:36,458 --> 01:11:39,074
I had a cousin or, rather,
a second cousin,

1256
01:11:39,167 --> 01:11:41,374
one of the northumberland blackmores.

1257
01:11:41,458 --> 01:11:42,994
She was a dulcibella.

1258
01:11:43,083 --> 01:11:46,951
She ran away with a Greek sea captain.
I can't imagine why.

1259
01:11:48,292 --> 01:11:51,739
Noise? Why shouldn't
young children make noise?

1260
01:11:51,833 --> 01:11:54,905
And if I'm here I'll make
a noise with them. Goodbye!

1261
01:11:58,292 --> 01:12:00,578
Good afternoon. Do you want a room here?

1262
01:12:00,667 --> 01:12:02,623
No. I've got a room here.

1263
01:12:02,708 --> 01:12:04,073
What are you doing here?

1264
01:12:04,167 --> 01:12:05,953
Answering the telephone.

1265
01:12:06,042 --> 01:12:08,203
What do you think I'm doing,
riding a bicycle?

1266
01:12:08,292 --> 01:12:10,874
Oh, it's monstrous.
You're much too old to be doing such work.

1267
01:12:10,958 --> 01:12:13,119
And you're too old to stand
there talking nonsense.

1268
01:12:13,208 --> 01:12:15,290
Now, run away and make yourself useful.

1269
01:12:17,167 --> 01:12:18,532
Silly old duffer.

1270
01:12:18,625 --> 01:12:21,037
Time we had a wet,
even if we have to serve ourselves.

1271
01:12:22,042 --> 01:12:24,018
Good evening, gentlemen. Come in.

1272
01:12:24,042 --> 01:12:25,623
The bar's open.

1273
01:12:25,708 --> 01:12:27,619
Turned a bit colder, hasn't it?

1274
01:12:27,708 --> 01:12:29,369
Don't breathe on those glasses!

1275
01:12:29,458 --> 01:12:32,200
Most people crumble the bread
into the milk.

1276
01:12:32,292 --> 01:12:36,535
And in this, as in so many other matters,
most people are wrong.

1277
01:12:36,625 --> 01:12:40,994
The pieces of bread -
not too large, not too small -

1278
01:12:41,083 --> 01:12:43,369
should be placed in the bowl

1279
01:12:43,458 --> 01:12:46,495
and the milk poured over the bread.

1280
01:12:47,833 --> 01:12:50,119
A pinch of sugar is added.

1281
01:12:50,208 --> 01:12:51,698
And then what have you got?

1282
01:12:51,792 --> 01:12:54,408
A poor basin of slops
instead of a good dinner.

1283
01:12:55,958 --> 01:12:57,789
Aye, a good dinner.

1284
01:12:57,875 --> 01:13:00,867
A capital dinner,
thanks to our friend gambini.

1285
01:13:00,958 --> 01:13:01,697
Hear! Hear!

1286
01:13:01,792 --> 01:13:04,989
Aye, and to whoever it was among us
who had the splendid notion

1287
01:13:05,083 --> 01:13:09,281
that instead of sitting down and girning
we should all turn to and help ourselves.

1288
01:13:09,375 --> 01:13:11,832
Hear! Hear!

1289
01:13:11,917 --> 01:13:14,954
Well, I think we've all shown
the proper spirit, pulling together.

1290
01:13:15,042 --> 01:13:17,476
Oh, no, you don't. Bird arranged all this.
Come on, Georgie boy.

1291
01:13:17,500 --> 01:13:19,582
Up you come. You're the boy we want.

1292
01:13:20,750 --> 01:13:23,036
Oh, our friend mr bird, was it?

1293
01:13:23,125 --> 01:13:25,286
Then I call upon him for a few remarks.

1294
01:13:31,375 --> 01:13:32,911
Thanks very much.

1295
01:13:33,000 --> 01:13:35,366
I think several of us
had the same idea at the same time,

1296
01:13:35,458 --> 01:13:37,995
so I don't deserve any special thanks,

1297
01:13:38,083 --> 01:13:39,664
though I'd like to say this.

1298
01:13:39,750 --> 01:13:43,993
I don't know why most of you came here,
but I know I came here to enjoy myself.

1299
01:13:44,083 --> 01:13:45,823
It was a sort of last chance.

1300
01:13:45,917 --> 01:13:48,875
Somehow I didn't enjoy myself,
not until tonight.

1301
01:13:48,958 --> 01:13:50,994
But tonight's been different.

1302
01:13:51,083 --> 01:13:52,768
I don't mean to say
we'd like it every night.

1303
01:13:52,792 --> 01:13:55,472
No, and don't forget, Georgie boy,
we still gotta do the washing up!

1304
01:13:56,500 --> 01:13:59,788
But we haven't just
passed the time, we've...

1305
01:13:59,875 --> 01:14:01,786
Filled it with something good.

1306
01:14:01,875 --> 01:14:03,351
And there's a lot to be said for that

1307
01:14:03,375 --> 01:14:05,912
because we don't know how
much time we have left, do we?

1308
01:14:07,875 --> 01:14:09,035
No, uh...

1309
01:14:10,625 --> 01:14:12,331
All I wanted to say was...

1310
01:14:14,125 --> 01:14:15,581
Don't thank me.

1311
01:14:16,500 --> 01:14:17,956
Let me thank you...

1312
01:14:19,125 --> 01:14:20,535
All of you.

1313
01:14:20,625 --> 01:14:22,331
Tonight you gave...

1314
01:14:31,583 --> 01:14:33,744
If you're interested,
sir Robert, it's all set.

1315
01:14:33,833 --> 01:14:35,539
I can design a new subsoiler for you.

1316
01:14:35,625 --> 01:14:37,786
And my group can manufacture them.

1317
01:14:37,875 --> 01:14:40,351
But they've still got to be marketed
by a man that knows the business.

1318
01:14:40,375 --> 01:14:44,243
And there's the man. He started me on the
idea and he's the man to sell the result.

1319
01:14:44,333 --> 01:14:46,244
What do you say to that, mr bird, eh?

1320
01:14:46,333 --> 01:14:49,040
Much obliged,
but it's no use bothering about me.

1321
01:14:49,125 --> 01:14:50,911
You're just wasting your time.

1322
01:14:51,000 --> 01:14:53,616
I must say I'm surprised
and disappointed in you, mr bird.

1323
01:14:53,708 --> 01:14:55,643
I have to say the same, old man.
It's a wonderful idea

1324
01:14:55,667 --> 01:14:57,749
- and you'll have nothing to do with it.
- Aye.

1325
01:14:57,833 --> 01:15:00,905
It's a great chance to benefit
not only yourself and us,

1326
01:15:01,000 --> 01:15:02,456
but the whole nation.

1327
01:15:02,542 --> 01:15:06,205
But you're like so many others nowadays -
you'd rather idle and amuse yourself.

1328
01:15:06,292 --> 01:15:07,623
So you won't take it, eh?

1329
01:15:07,708 --> 01:15:09,664
- It's not that I won't. I can't.
- Ahh!

1330
01:15:09,750 --> 01:15:11,536
In my young days, my dear young man,

1331
01:15:11,625 --> 01:15:14,207
there was no such word as
"can't" in my vocabulary.

1332
01:15:14,292 --> 01:15:15,452
Oh, what's the use?

1333
01:15:15,542 --> 01:15:18,454
Look, I can't take this job or any
of the other jobs I've been offered

1334
01:15:18,542 --> 01:15:20,658
because quite soon I'm going to die.

1335
01:15:20,750 --> 01:15:22,456
You're what?!

1336
01:15:22,542 --> 01:15:24,908
Die. Pass on.

1337
01:15:25,000 --> 01:15:26,615
- Kick the bucket.
- But...

1338
01:15:27,917 --> 01:15:31,080
For years and years, I go on and on,
and nobody offers me a sausage.

1339
01:15:31,167 --> 01:15:33,909
Then when I'm going to die,
I come here and everybody offers me

1340
01:15:34,000 --> 01:15:36,161
everything on a plate.

1341
01:15:38,125 --> 01:15:39,706
Money.

1342
01:15:40,375 --> 01:15:41,410
Travel.

1343
01:15:41,500 --> 01:15:43,456
Jobs. Influence.

1344
01:15:43,542 --> 01:15:44,952
Love and kisses.

1345
01:15:45,042 --> 01:15:46,657
Just because I'm going to die.

1346
01:15:46,750 --> 01:15:48,115
One moment, my friend.

1347
01:15:48,208 --> 01:15:50,790
What might you be going to die of?

1348
01:15:50,875 --> 01:15:52,740
You look healthy enough to me.

1349
01:15:52,833 --> 01:15:56,280
If you must know,
I'm going to die of lampington's disease.

1350
01:15:56,375 --> 01:15:58,616
Lampington's disease?!

1351
01:15:58,708 --> 01:16:00,824
Do you know who you're talking to?

1352
01:16:00,917 --> 01:16:02,578
Uh, sir...

1353
01:16:02,667 --> 01:16:04,248
Sir Trevor lampington,

1354
01:16:04,333 --> 01:16:06,790
who discovered lampington's disease.

1355
01:16:06,875 --> 01:16:08,957
And if you've got lampington's disease,

1356
01:16:09,042 --> 01:16:12,114
I'm in the sadler's Wells ballet.

1357
01:16:12,208 --> 01:16:13,414
Are you quite sure?

1358
01:16:13,500 --> 01:16:17,118
Look here, I'll give £5,000
to any hospital that can prove to me

1359
01:16:17,208 --> 01:16:19,824
that you're suffering
from lampington's disease.

1360
01:16:39,000 --> 01:16:40,956
Mrs poole! Mrs poole!

1361
01:16:42,792 --> 01:16:44,328
Shh! Don't make such a noise!

1362
01:16:44,417 --> 01:16:46,078
It's all been a mistake!

1363
01:16:46,167 --> 01:16:47,873
I'm not going to die!

1364
01:16:55,958 --> 01:16:57,268
- Nice morning,
- Beautiful morning.

1365
01:16:57,292 --> 01:16:59,248
Can I speak to mr Clarence
from here, please?

1366
01:16:59,333 --> 01:17:01,915
Twenty-five. Mr bird to speak
to mr Clarence, please.

1367
01:17:02,000 --> 01:17:04,286
- You look different, mr bird.
- I am. I'm happy.

1368
01:17:04,375 --> 01:17:05,455
Well, don't be too happy.

1369
01:17:05,542 --> 01:17:07,726
There's a something somewhere
that doesn't like it and interferes.

1370
01:17:07,750 --> 01:17:09,365
- Nonsense.
- Here he is.

1371
01:17:10,083 --> 01:17:12,495
Joe, something tremendous has happened.

1372
01:17:12,583 --> 01:17:14,414
I must get back to chanbury
for an hour or so

1373
01:17:14,500 --> 01:17:16,226
and I wondered if I could borrow
your car for the day.

1374
01:17:16,250 --> 01:17:18,161
Then I could be back here by teatime.

1375
01:17:18,250 --> 01:17:19,865
Oh, bless you.

1376
01:17:20,875 --> 01:17:22,206
And you.

1377
01:17:27,750 --> 01:17:29,957
The tank's nearly full.
What time will you be back?

1378
01:17:30,042 --> 01:17:32,033
Not later than six,
even if I take it easy.

1379
01:17:32,125 --> 01:17:34,226
Starter's down there. Gears on the right.

1380
01:17:34,250 --> 01:17:35,706
Well, seems a bit nippy.

1381
01:17:35,792 --> 01:17:38,158
- I'll say so long, eh, George?
- Thanks, Joe.

1382
01:17:38,250 --> 01:17:40,206
- See you tonight, old son?
- That's right!

1383
01:17:44,167 --> 01:17:45,998
Hello. Came down with the milk.

1384
01:17:46,083 --> 01:17:48,226
- I say, you're not leaving us, are you?
- Only for the day.

1385
01:17:48,250 --> 01:17:50,366
Good. See you tonight then.

1386
01:17:50,458 --> 01:17:54,576
I fixed everything, thanks to you, bird.
I won't forget it.

1387
01:17:54,667 --> 01:17:56,999
You pop up and see Sheila. I must go.

1388
01:17:58,125 --> 01:17:59,956
All right, driver.

1389
01:18:00,042 --> 01:18:01,578
Bye-bye.

1390
01:18:02,375 --> 01:18:04,976
Oh, your call to chanbury, sir Trevor.
Will you take it in the box?

1391
01:18:05,000 --> 01:18:06,206
Thank you.

1392
01:18:13,458 --> 01:18:15,164
Is that dr pevensey?

1393
01:18:16,000 --> 01:18:17,991
Yes, I gather you're a busy man.

1394
01:18:18,083 --> 01:18:19,994
In fact, so busy
that it's just about 50-to-1

1395
01:18:20,083 --> 01:18:23,371
that somebody there's been looking
at the wrong set of X-ray plates.

1396
01:18:23,458 --> 01:18:26,621
This is lampington. Sir Trevor lampington.

1397
01:18:27,708 --> 01:18:31,405
I told bird it was thanks to him.
You don't have to tell me that.

1398
01:18:32,042 --> 01:18:34,018
- What happened in town?
- Oh, binney's cleared out.

1399
01:18:34,042 --> 01:18:36,018
Got a quick passage somewhere
with what I gave him.

1400
01:18:36,042 --> 01:18:38,249
It's all right now.
Nothing further to worry about.

1401
01:18:42,083 --> 01:18:43,414
Yes, there is.

1402
01:18:43,500 --> 01:18:45,036
Didn't bird pay the bill after all?

1403
01:18:45,125 --> 01:18:46,911
Yes. That's not what I mean, Derek.

1404
01:18:47,708 --> 01:18:49,198
This is the last time.

1405
01:18:49,292 --> 01:18:52,534
Either we pay our way and go straight,
or... or I'm through.

1406
01:18:54,917 --> 01:18:56,248
I love you.

1407
01:18:56,333 --> 01:18:57,869
Sometimes I wish I didn't.

1408
01:18:57,958 --> 01:18:59,619
But if you want me to stay with you,

1409
01:18:59,708 --> 01:19:02,950
there must be no more
of this sponging and dodging and lying.

1410
01:19:06,125 --> 01:19:07,365
I promise.

1411
01:19:07,458 --> 01:19:09,574
Though I may need a little help.

1412
01:19:09,667 --> 01:19:12,249
- I'll do my best.
- We could leave here today.

1413
01:19:12,333 --> 01:19:13,448
No.

1414
01:19:14,625 --> 01:19:15,705
Tomorrow.

1415
01:19:16,625 --> 01:19:19,458
I want to see bird again, just once.

1416
01:19:19,542 --> 01:19:22,124
I want him to feel
that what he did wasn't useless.

1417
01:19:22,208 --> 01:19:23,664
Good girl.

1418
01:19:33,333 --> 01:19:35,324
Lovely day for the road.

1419
01:19:35,417 --> 01:19:37,658
That's right, Cecil. It's a lovely day.

1420
01:19:37,750 --> 01:19:41,117
I'd like to take a lovely lorry out
on a lovely day like this.

1421
01:19:41,208 --> 01:19:43,244
Go on, enjoy yourself, Cecil.

1422
01:19:43,333 --> 01:19:45,289
That's just what I intend to do, Noel.

1423
01:19:55,875 --> 01:19:59,288
There's no doubt about it.
The old dinosaur was quite right.

1424
01:19:59,375 --> 01:20:01,393
I must have been looking
at the wrong set of plates.

1425
01:20:01,417 --> 01:20:05,911
I remember now, doctor, there was another
man who looked terribly ill, called, uh...

1426
01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:07,456
Burden.

1427
01:20:07,542 --> 01:20:08,577
Oh!

1428
01:20:09,667 --> 01:20:12,684
The chap who was so indignant when I told
him there was nothing the matter with him.

1429
01:20:12,708 --> 01:20:14,619
Those must have been bird's plates.

1430
01:20:14,708 --> 01:20:17,575
After what I told bird,
I believe he sold up and cleared out.

1431
01:20:17,667 --> 01:20:20,374
- Probably a good thing for us he did.
- Well, that's something.

1432
01:20:20,458 --> 01:20:23,370
About the last man I'd like to see
walking in here.

1433
01:20:23,458 --> 01:20:25,915
Come along. Let's get on. Who's next?

1434
01:20:28,083 --> 01:20:29,448
Next, please.

1435
01:20:32,833 --> 01:20:35,415
- Well?
- Quite well, thank you.

1436
01:20:36,500 --> 01:20:38,616
And bird is the name.

1437
01:20:39,333 --> 01:20:41,369
And bird is his name
and he's not rich at all?

1438
01:20:41,458 --> 01:20:42,458
No, just like us.

1439
01:20:42,542 --> 01:20:44,078
Now do you understand, Joe?

1440
01:20:44,167 --> 01:20:46,533
Poor George thought he had
only a few weeks more to live.

1441
01:20:46,625 --> 01:20:49,162
So he couldn't start anything,
couldn't take a job.

1442
01:20:49,250 --> 01:20:51,912
That's right,
and I nearly guessed it last night,

1443
01:20:52,000 --> 01:20:54,286
when something he said
made me want to cry.

1444
01:20:54,375 --> 01:20:57,367
As I said to miss fox,
he reminds me of sir Herbert's cousin,

1445
01:20:57,458 --> 01:21:00,120
the one that went to Australia
and died there in no time.

1446
01:21:00,208 --> 01:21:03,575
Yes, but our nice mr bird isn't
going to die, which is splendid.

1447
01:21:03,667 --> 01:21:05,999
I really think we ought to do
something about it.

1448
01:21:06,083 --> 01:21:06,538
Aye.

1449
01:21:06,625 --> 01:21:09,082
- Can't see what the fuss is about.
- I'll bet you can't.

1450
01:21:09,167 --> 01:21:10,687
Fellow was exactly what I said he was,

1451
01:21:10,750 --> 01:21:12,559
except some fool of a doctor
made a mistake about him.

1452
01:21:12,583 --> 01:21:14,809
Only told him he was booked
for the cemetery, that's all.

1453
01:21:14,833 --> 01:21:17,199
If he thought he was going to die,
what'd he come here for?

1454
01:21:17,292 --> 01:21:19,658
Cos he wanted to finish up
with a bit of posh life.

1455
01:21:19,750 --> 01:21:21,706
That's right, isn't it, mrs poole?

1456
01:21:21,792 --> 01:21:24,864
You girls get on with your work
and never mind about mr bird.

1457
01:21:25,750 --> 01:21:27,866
But somebody ought to have
guessed it from the first.

1458
01:21:28,833 --> 01:21:30,494
I knew there was something.

1459
01:21:31,167 --> 01:21:34,204
There is only one thing to do,
ladies and gentlemen.

1460
01:21:34,292 --> 01:21:38,535
Mr bird, who I like very much
from the beginning, he come here to die

1461
01:21:38,625 --> 01:21:42,698
and now he live, which is
a very romantic story, very nice.

1462
01:21:42,792 --> 01:21:45,249
So tonight I give for him
a very special dinner

1463
01:21:45,333 --> 01:21:47,574
in the small dining room
for his friends here

1464
01:21:47,667 --> 01:21:51,455
and we say how much we like him
and we drink his health.

1465
01:21:51,542 --> 01:21:53,407
That's the talk, gambi boy!

1466
01:22:09,750 --> 01:22:12,207
- Afternoon.
- Afternoon, Fred.

1467
01:22:12,292 --> 01:22:15,864
- Taking him up the vet's?
- That's right, Fred. Having him put away.

1468
01:22:15,958 --> 01:22:18,119
Poor old sausage.

1469
01:22:18,208 --> 01:22:21,621
Might as well.
He don't enjoy life no longer.

1470
01:22:22,792 --> 01:22:25,283
All right, Perce, get down then.

1471
01:22:25,375 --> 01:22:27,366
Have a last sniff round.

1472
01:22:27,458 --> 01:22:30,575
- What's this I hear about your friend?
- Who do you mean, Fred?

1473
01:22:45,667 --> 01:22:47,623
I'm sorry we have to wait so long.

1474
01:22:47,708 --> 01:22:50,871
Well, gambini, this may be bird's dinner,
but it happens also to be my dinner

1475
01:22:50,958 --> 01:22:53,791
and I'm tired waiting for it,
so I think we'll just sit down, eh?

1476
01:22:53,875 --> 01:22:56,491
I must say, I agree with sir Robert.
Ought to make a start.

1477
01:22:56,583 --> 01:22:58,869
- Aye, no right to keep us waiting.
- None at all.

1478
01:22:58,958 --> 01:23:01,449
Well, of course.
Then please, we sit down.

1479
01:23:03,083 --> 01:23:06,575
As a matter of fact, I'm beginning to
think the whole thing's rather absurd.

1480
01:23:06,667 --> 01:23:08,851
- You mean this dinner?
- Yes, all this fuss about bird.

1481
01:23:08,875 --> 01:23:11,366
A doctor made a mistake, that's all.
So what?

1482
01:23:15,083 --> 01:23:17,119
The regal hotel...

1483
01:23:17,208 --> 01:23:18,698
Pine...

1484
01:23:21,542 --> 01:23:22,873
Pinebourne.

1485
01:23:25,750 --> 01:23:27,160
Tell them.

1486
01:23:30,042 --> 01:23:32,249
And give my love to...

1487
01:23:36,208 --> 01:23:37,493
My love to...

1488
01:23:42,833 --> 01:23:44,869
Give my love to them all.

1489
01:23:52,250 --> 01:23:53,865
Funny thing.

1490
01:23:56,333 --> 01:23:58,289
Thought I was going to die.

1491
01:24:01,958 --> 01:24:03,619
Right after all.

1492
01:24:06,667 --> 01:24:08,203
Just had to happen.

1493
01:24:11,958 --> 01:24:13,949
But it's all right, you know.

1494
01:24:17,333 --> 01:24:19,369
Not bad at all.

1495
01:24:25,083 --> 01:24:26,823
Good thing, really.

1496
01:24:29,583 --> 01:24:30,868
Not bad.

1497
01:24:39,750 --> 01:24:41,081
Good.

1498
01:24:43,667 --> 01:24:45,578
Well, I do think he might have turned up.

1499
01:24:45,667 --> 01:24:47,908
He's got your car too, hasn't he?
Yes.

1500
01:24:48,000 --> 01:24:50,958
I suppose it's all right
going off in somebody else's car.

1501
01:24:51,042 --> 01:24:52,953
But I know sir Herbert
wouldn't have had it.

1502
01:24:53,042 --> 01:24:56,284
I'm thinking it may be just possible
that we're making fools of ourselves.

1503
01:24:56,375 --> 01:24:58,616
Oh, well, no harm done, really, eh?

1504
01:24:58,708 --> 01:25:02,530
- Oh, no, he's nice, mr bird.
- But he did rush us a bit, you know.

1505
01:25:02,625 --> 01:25:05,684
I talked to him about a job, but there was
no proof that he could have managed it.

1506
01:25:05,708 --> 01:25:07,414
- No proof.
- Chalfont.

1507
01:25:07,500 --> 01:25:09,707
I'm beginning to think
the very same thing.

1508
01:25:09,792 --> 01:25:11,748
You were a wee bit overhasty.

1509
01:25:11,833 --> 01:25:14,324
But he seemed to have something
special about him, George did.

1510
01:25:14,417 --> 01:25:17,393
Might have been cos he was feeling he was
for the long jump soon. Know what I mean?

1511
01:25:17,417 --> 01:25:19,282
I believe that's just it, mr Clarence.

1512
01:25:19,375 --> 01:25:21,809
Now, of course, it's different.
He's just like the rest of us.

1513
01:25:21,833 --> 01:25:26,202
Seemed to me a commonplace sort of chap
and not above throwing his weight about.

1514
01:25:26,292 --> 01:25:28,248
But he never pretended
to be anything else.

1515
01:25:28,333 --> 01:25:30,574
He was always quite frank about that.

1516
01:25:30,667 --> 01:25:32,157
He was...

1517
01:25:32,250 --> 01:25:33,365
What?

1518
01:25:34,625 --> 01:25:36,707
I don't know. I... I'm all mixed up.

1519
01:25:37,542 --> 01:25:39,407
Let's talk about something else.

1520
01:25:44,208 --> 01:25:46,164
Regal hotel, pinebourne.

1521
01:25:47,292 --> 01:25:48,532
Yes?

1522
01:25:49,292 --> 01:25:50,623
Yes?

1523
01:25:51,500 --> 01:25:53,491
Bird? Yes, he was...

1524
01:25:56,708 --> 01:25:58,039
What?

1525
01:26:01,125 --> 01:26:02,831
Mrs poole speaking.

1526
01:26:06,917 --> 01:26:07,997
Oh...

1527
01:26:11,208 --> 01:26:12,539
Yes, all right.

1528
01:26:13,875 --> 01:26:15,081
I'll tell them.

1529
01:26:32,375 --> 01:26:35,993
As you know, it was at this stage
of our convivial proceedings

1530
01:26:36,083 --> 01:26:38,699
that we'd planned
a very enthusiastic toast.

1531
01:26:38,792 --> 01:26:41,454
- Well, I think we still ought to have it.
- Hear! Hear!

1532
01:26:41,542 --> 01:26:43,533
But with one little modification.

1533
01:26:43,625 --> 01:26:47,538
As our friend bird has not condescended
to appear at this dinner,

1534
01:26:47,625 --> 01:26:49,707
we're doing without him.

1535
01:26:49,792 --> 01:26:52,579
In my humble opinion, doing very well.

1536
01:26:52,667 --> 01:26:56,080
And we can still drink a toast,
a toast to ourselves.

1537
01:26:56,167 --> 01:26:58,158
And why not, ladies and gentlemen?

1538
01:26:58,250 --> 01:27:00,741
A doctor made a mistake.
Well, that's that.

1539
01:27:00,833 --> 01:27:05,156
But like mr bird, who's probably
back in that sphere of life

1540
01:27:05,250 --> 01:27:08,287
that he perhaps adorns more
gracefully than he did this one,

1541
01:27:08,375 --> 01:27:10,240
we're all alive too,

1542
01:27:10,333 --> 01:27:12,369
alive and kicking too!

1543
01:27:12,458 --> 01:27:15,746
Perhaps in some ways rather more than he!

1544
01:27:17,000 --> 01:27:18,991
I'm sorry to interrupt you.

1545
01:27:19,708 --> 01:27:22,120
I think you'd like to know,
mr bird is dead.